A Fibonacci Poem: Everywhere You Look

[Mark A Becker]

Everywhere You Look

There
they
are- in
tornadoes,
shells, and hurricanes-
spirals are everywhere you look.
Galaxies, whirlpools, and flowers-
the whole universe,
all of it,
spins like
a
top.

Do
these
spirals
purposely
appear in nature,
created with such precision,
so that we can’t help but wonder
what brilliant artist
must exist
to craft
each
one?

[tectak]

Everywhere You Look

There
they
are- in
tornadoes,
shells, and hurricanes-
spirals are everywhere you look.
Galaxies, whirlpools, and flowers-
the whole universe,
all of it,
spins like
a
top.

Do
these
spirals
purposely
appear in nature,
created with such precision,
so that we can’t help but wonder
what brilliant artist
must exist
to craft
each
one?

Hi mark,
Good that this is in Miscellaneous as there is probably more to argue on the "value" of this kind of cerebral perambulation than on anything even remotely connected with its poetic worth. Please note that I did not say "worthlessness" .
Once again you confront me with text. There is nothing IN the text that enlightens, inovates, enthralls or even surprises the average reader. That Fibonacci "had" a series is of limited import to the masses but the consequences of the "determined series" are far reaching enough to lay claim to some minor amazement when explained. Which you do not. To be told that we should "be surprised" and then be denied some revelation...worse...to end on a confession of ignorance, is a little disappointing.
As for the "form", one assumes that by some definition "concrete" poetry has (or had) value, it sadly is not within my powers of comprehension; so, sadly, nor my appreciation.
In this piece you write of a significant truth but one which is not unknown, studied, analysed, pontificated on and generally beaten to death by omni-presence. To make a point of no point at all you choose to "shape" the words, regardless, in to a couple of non-linear graphical representations of some arbitrary geometric progression...they could be logarithmic, parabolic, elliptic, quadratic....any thing. Because it doesn't matter and THAT is significantly the point.

So what have we got here?
 
There they are- in tornadoes, shells, and hurricanes-spirals are everywhere you look. Galaxies, whirlpools, and flowers-the whole universe, all of it, spins like a top. cliche, by the way Do these spirals purposely appear in nature, created with such precision,so that we can’t help but wonder what brilliant artist must exist to craft each one? Who knows? Do you? I don't...and I will tell you something else I don't know...no...forget it. There will always be another day. Amazing that. I wonder who planned it...yes. Those days keep right on coming. Hmmm.

Sorry if this sounds dismissive but you convinced me early on that I could expect great things. I am sure they will be forthcoming. In those immortal words, nearly. You have written a great poem...but this wasn't it.
Don't ever forget, all is opinion. Take it or leave it.
Best,
tectak

[Mark A Becker]

Hello Tom-

YES, the "misc" area was where I knew to put this one, because it is a "fluff" piece.

That said, I can't resist odd poetic forms like the Fibonacci poem.

Please understand that I do not take offense to any comment you made: I actually appreciate that you commented at all. At length, as well...

I am way old enough to "take it or leave it": in fact, I can now do both, simultaneously.

There are a few things of which I am certain--
- there is always more to know, and never less to think
-- and--
- the facts don't always tell the truth

Thanks!
... Mark

[Magpie]

Hi Mark,

I appreciate what you have done here in the sense of experimenting with a different kind of form. I'm all for experimenting with form unless the necessity to stick with certain rules detracts from any poetic qualities within.

At first I was puzzled by the isolated words on their own line at the beginning and end of each stanza but I get it now, it's the series in question. And in this restriction is the first problem in many ways because any poem that has a first three line syllable structure of 1-1-2 is going to be hard to pull off.

I understand the fascination with experimenting with different forms and I myself am more than guilty of wandering down those long lonely corridors only to find at the end a creation that is briefly mathematically and intellectually appealing but also without any poetic qualities.

If you've never investigated palindrome poems then don't go there, along with LSD it is easiest way to lose your mind completely. I'm presuming there is also such a thing as a π (that's supposed to be the symbol for pi) poem, I just checked and there is. I forbid you to look it up we might lose you forever, you need to stay sane for the sake of this site.

I would have thought that if ever a poem could be truly justified in being centre justified this would be it. However I also appreciate that to centre justify a poem on this site turns it from a poem into a suicide note.

I stress again that I do really appreciate the adventure and experimentation that you are willing to take, just don't lose sight of the bigger picture.

Cheers for the read,

Mark

ps - Fibonacci? Did he used to play left back for Juventus?

[Mark A Becker]

Hey Mark-

Palindrome, eh? You mean one of these?
"No evil dog sees god live on"

My sanity is beyond question: "There's nothing wrong with you," the tiny voice said, "it's all in your head."

Bein 'merican, I ain't up to snuff on who plays for who in the Serie A... (PS- Women's World Cup: GO Team USA vs JAPAN, now that the Lionesses of ENGLAND snuffed themselves out with that own goal in stoppage time).

And YES, I should have posted this one centered. Matter of fact, I think I will.... Fibonacci + concrete poems all-in-one. Might as well put a gun to my ear. Suicide by poem (HAH! laughed my ass off)

I do like to tinker with odd-ball forms-- fortunately I don't waste too much time on 'em. They just pop out and drop, sorta like taking a dump-- helps keep the old pipes cleared..

Thanks Mark,
... Mark
(now I feel like I'm talking to myself)

[Erthona]

Not really a A Fibonacci Poem, not that I have a problem with that as a A Fibonacci Poem is purely an externally imposed form that has nothing to do with poetry. Maybe call it a "Double Fibonacci Poem inversion concrete". Generally such an investment tends to cause one to overlook the content and it does so for me here, the main thesis of which is the repeated forms in nature, specifically in this case the spiral which is imaged through the concrete aspect of the poem. Although I agree with what Tom said, I think the analyses is a bit hard for such a light hearted observation, that is to say I do not think this poem is pretentious enough to be judged by such a high standard. So for what it is, I find no major flaws in it.

Dale

[tectak]

Everywhere You Look

There
they
are- in
tornadoes,
shells, and hurricanes-
spirals are everywhere you look.
Galaxies, whirlpools, and flowers-
the whole universe,
all of it,
spins like
a
top.

Do
these
spirals
purposely
appear in nature,
created with such precision,
so that we can’t help but wonder
what brilliant artist
must exist
to craft
each
one?

Much prettier, Mark.
Best,
tectak

[Mark A Becker]

Thanks Dale,

As you also point out, this piece "is what it is" and really nothing more than an "exercise in the obvious."  

And Tom-  I take "prettier" to mean "you can put lipstick on a pig, but...."  (HAH!)  I'll try to go light on posting novelty pieces, but it's hard to resist that urge...

I ain't gonna bump this one anymore.  I'm gonna let it just spin away...

... Mark