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The title is quite obviously, not tongue in cheek.?
Hope it's okay too post, I got bored.
Bright pink elephants never die,
Such a shame I'm not that shy.
Travesty is as travesty does,
I swear my mom is not my cuz!
Nonsense thoughts flail and putter,
Saran Wrap shirts, oops,
Slipped in the gutter.
I swear I'm really not that dense,
My poetry just doesn't make sense!
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.
Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013
(06-16-2015, 09:06 AM)queenconstantine Wrote: The title is quite obviously, not tongue in cheek.? --- The title is really hard to say with tongue in cheek
Hope it's okay too post, I got bored. --- hmmm... let me think about it. 
Bright pink elephants never die, --- Urban Dictionary gives this line such a variety of possibilities
Such a shame I'm not that shy.
Travesty is a travesty does, --- did you mean 'as'?? - I should stay away from Urban Dictionary
I swear my mom is not my cuz!
Nonsense thoughts flail and putter, --- did you mean 'splutter' or 'sputter' or is it the American/Canadian meaning of 'putter' and not the golfing kind of 'putter' -- Or did you mean the Urban Dictio... only joking
Saran Wrap shirts, oops, --- Thank Google for Google or else my British brain would have just assumed that Saran Wrap Shirts were some kind of fancy designer label and not plastic wrap or as we British like to call it 'cling film'
Slipped in the gutter.
I swear I'm really not that dense, --- that's the second time you've swore in this poem for f**cks sake
My poetry just doesn't make sense! --- I kind of want this line to say 'My pottery don't make no sense'
It was certainly fun, hope you don't mind that I had a bit fun with it
Cheers for the read,
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 56
Threads: 14
Joined: Jun 2015
Haha, of course, I had to try saying the title with tongue in cheek...seems your observation was most astute. "Putter of course, is most fitting, as it clearly does not make sense! Love your alteration to the last line, and I promise to stop swearing, on weak ends, son daze and every time betwix and between, but not really.
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
(06-16-2015, 09:06 AM)queenconstantine Wrote: The title is quite obviously, not tongue in cheek.?
Hope it's okay too post, I got bored.
Bright pink elephants never die,
Such a shame I'm not that shy.
Travesty is a travesty does,
I swear my mom is not my cuz!
Nonsense thoughts flail and putter,
Saran Wrap shirts, oops,
Slipped in the gutter.
I swear I'm really not that dense,
My poetry just doesn't make sense!
reads like atrain of thought poem. no feedback persay apart fro [a] should be [as]
Posts: 56
Threads: 14
Joined: Jun 2015
Noted, that was a typo, I post from my phone... I suppose it was my train of thought...eesh, scary.
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.
