08-09-2015, 10:54 AM
The changes that were made from the first to second, made for a better read. I did not care for the narrator and it made the poem hard to read. Yet, a strong emotional responce was created... does this not count as a win?
As stated, I enjoyed the rewrite much better. Many have commented on the clichness of it... many have statement of love being like roses and flowers... yet the following line kind of saved it for me.... but believe I would have liked it much better if you applied that to something more unique.
As stated, I enjoyed the rewrite much better. Many have commented on the clichness of it... many have statement of love being like roses and flowers... yet the following line kind of saved it for me.... but believe I would have liked it much better if you applied that to something more unique.