Scattered Leaves

[Leanne]

As a child, all the world used to laugh at me,
for I spoke in the language of poetry;
every day was a new opportunity
to enhance my linguistic acuity.
 
And the pages were warm, and they welcomed me,
they were braver and brighter than I could be;
while I floated upon a semantic sea,
I was written to dusty obscurity.
 
As I grew, so the words reached maturity,
and I learned all I could of vitality
from the welcoming flesh of the library --
I collated a cold bibliography.
 
Now the world mocks my selfish sterility,
and I yearn for the comfort of company;
every day I expand my anthology,
wet with tears for my absent humanity.

[Erthona]

anapest, anapest, anapest, iamb. Very nice. Especially as it does not become obvious. Excellent versification.

Dale

[ellajam]

Nice response to the discussion on the dove thread about using one end rhyme.

It's only we humans who aim our affection
at language as if it's a tasty confection.
While the howl and the chirp don't come under inspection
we cherish each word and each interconnection.

We obsess on true meaning, mull over inflection,
examine our lives in the glare of reflection.
Distracting ourselves with our constant dissection—
the curse and the grace of the human complexion.

That's all I got, and I'm sure the meter's screwed as usual, but it was fun.

[just mercedes]

And you've done it with a mono-rhyme. Amazing. Does the word distance the writer from the thought/feeling/emotion, as well as allowing it expression?

[Leanne]

I tend to think that writers both benefit and suffer from excessive empathy, and often overcompensate. The openness required for constant observation can be painful.

Ella, nice one. Monorhymes often work best when they're doubles or triples, rather than the dull old chime of the single. A dingaling is always nicer than a dong.

[billy]

well done both of you, i'm jealous as hell.

what i like is how the poetry stays within certain parameters. leanne's has a definite time line.

[Leanne]

One of the worst mistakes people make when using rhyme is to just pick a word that fits the scheme and let it twist the poem in a direction that makes no sense, so that it loses any cohesion. If you can't control your rhymes, either change them, get creative with your words or use a different technique.

[nakedwonder]

Interesting take on the formation of a poet. I particularly liked the juxtaposition of warmth/welcoming sensation with obscurity and cold in the 2nd and 3rd stanzas. Thanks for sharing.

[billy]

it's in miscellaneous so i'm okay if it's pretty bad i got to thinking about just mercedes' zombie poem and thought of killing two birds with one stone (pardon the pun)

rolling waves moonless night, and a choppy ride

I stood on the shore with a boat alongside
and pondered the death of my dear darling bride
she hadn't left yet on the late rising tide
though her blood had been rinsed with formaldyhide.

The bleed from her wrists and the tubes misapplied
I felt like the doctor from Jekyll and Hyde,
in search of a formula as yet untried;
it turned out that type O was all she supplied.

I supposed it better than nought i confide
while it was not perfect i had to decide
decant it for dinner, or cork it and ride
for dark had arisen and I was untied.

[Leanne]

Wow billy, interesting take on the formation of a zombie. Thanks for sharing.

[ellajam]

it's in miscellaneous so i'm okay if it's pretty bad i got to thinking about just mercedes' zombie poem and thought of killing two birds with one stone (pardon the pun)

rolling waves moonless night, and a choppy ride

I stood on the shore with a boat alongside
and pondered the death of my dear darling bride
she hadn't left yet on the late rising tide
though her blood had been rinsed with formaldyhide.

The bleed from her wrists and the tubes misapplied
I felt like the doctor from Jekyll and Hyde,
in search of  a formula as yet untried;
it turned out that type O was all she supplied.

I supposed it better than nought i confide
while it was not perfect i had to decide
decant it for dinner, or cork it and ride
for dark had arisen and I was untied.

Good job, billy, I particularly liked formaldehyde misapplied. (US spellcheck prefers my spelling.)

Wow billy, interesting take on the formation of a zombie.  Thanks for sharing.

[billy]

wow leanne, love your perceptive take on the poem thanks for sharing

Wow billy, interesting take on the formation of a zombie.  Thanks for sharing.

[crow]

Wait, wait, wait--something weird's going on in the narrative here . . . Well, dad-gummit. I'm always leary about editing, anymore, bc my crit style's so overbearing, but it's the only way I know to really get into a poem so . . . apologies in advance . . .