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FDA
When he was well,
vibrant, buoyant
and outspoken,
her husband had little
time for bureaucracy.
Now that he is ill,
desperate, tired
and broken,
he has less.
Posts: 489
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Joined: Jan 2013
Very clever poem, I find playing with idioms like "had little time for" can be a good way to find an idea, and I really like the way you did it here.
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Funny poem Paul, and as WJ said, clever.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
just mercedes
Unregistered
Ouch. Great ending, you leave your reader to go back and question assumptions.
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Thumbs up on this one. Just enough is said, just enough is left unsaid. I wanted to smile at its cleverness but then felt bad smiling because of the subject matter, and I like that tension. Nicely done.
_______________________________________
The howling beast is back.
Posts: 751
Threads: 408
Joined: May 2014
Thank you everyone.
Cloudy: your reaction is exactly what I was aiming for, and a little how I felt writing it. So thank you for the affirmation.
Paul