Light

[noname]

And when I saw your face
It was like all my mind’s clouds
Were cast away
By your soul’s sunshine
Like the dust had settled
And in your being
I had found a new light

[shemthepenman]

Hello,
 
the first thing, this is extremely twee and cliché. but then again, what is wrong with twee and cliché? We are all pretty much emotionally lazy; that is, life imitates art, and one can only hear 'she is the light of my life' so many times before one actually starts to emotionally identify with this imagery. Hence, the poem, on a sentimental level, works. Although, why bother with this one? why not any number of other poems comparing a loved one to light? I would ask myself, what does my poem bring to the table? am I saying something new, different, exciting, or just rehashing the same old tired metaphors?

And when I saw your face - I used to love starting a poem with 'and', like a Fuck You to all my English teachers telling me 'never begin a sentence with 'and''... I still do it, I honestly think it is like some 'and' tourettes or something. The  trouble is, one has to ask, is it necessary? what is the and doing there? In this particular instance I think it only weakens an already overly sentimental poem.
It was like all my mind’s clouds - as with the and thing, 'it was like' doesn't really do much apart from make the reader lose confidence in the writer's conviction.
Were cast away
By your soul’s sunshine - I would remove 'soul's'. It just adds another element of cliché and sentimentality, which it certainly doesn't need. 
Like the dust had settled -this is a redeeming line. Gives us a glimpse of something more.
And in your being
I had found a new light - yep, this is all much of a muchness. It lacks punch, but then the rest of the poem isn't a kick in the nuts, either. Yet, a lot of damage can be repaired with last lines, so maybe think about giving the conclusion a little more bite.

[billy]

usually in short poems, brevity wins the day. make it as succinct as you can without losing the essence of it. also watch out for cliches which can be used but shouldn't be. specially in short poems like this. (cliches when done properly can add something, generally they detract)
the caps lead me astray, mainly because there's no punctuation. in effect is cocks up the pause at the end of each line.

And when I saw your face no need for [and] to open with a cliche already has readers not wanting to carry on
It was like all my mind’s clouds no need for [it was like all]
Were cast away
By your soul’s sunshine
Like the dust had settled no need for [the]
And in your being
I had found a new light i think the last two lines work well enough in expressing love, i do like that you didn't use the word love or beauty)