Poles

[Tiger the Lion]

Poles
Sorry about the state of the igloo;
it's been a polar bear of a day
and I am cold.
 
I've managed to scrape
blubber to burn through the night 
if we can find a spark.

[Requiem]

Aw, cute!
Love "it's been a polar bear of a day," very unique and fitting.
I would just mention where exactly you scraped the blubber from - a walrus, maybe? Also, I would get rid of the dash after "night -" It feels better to me having either a comma there or nothing to help with the flow, as the dash makes it seem abrupt in a way that I feel detracts from the poem.

[Tiger the Lion]

Thanks requiem, I was struggling between the dash or nothing. I've removed the dash now, but only in a quick edit. I was hoping someone might have thoughts on that. Thanks again, Paul

[SimikPK]

Poles
Sorry about the state of the igloo; Wouldn´t "Sorry about the igloo" be enough? It works well this way, but the "state" somehow disturbs me.
it's been a polar bear of a day As Requiem said, nicely done here.
and I am cold.
 
I've managed to scrape
blubber to burn through the night 
if we can find a spark. The story ain't over, right? Nice ending, pointing to the not-yet unresolved conflict.

Nice poem, I like especially the contrast between mess in the igloo and yet sucessful blubber-scraping, and blubber-having and the need/challenge - to find the spark.  

[Tiger the Lion]

Thanks Simik, "state of the igloo" is meant to be sort of an anti-colloquialism. A remote version of "sorry about the state of the place". I think a common sentiment in domestic relationships. You did make me think about changing "state" to "shape". But that might be opening another can of worms. Still thinking about it. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. Appreciated - Paul

[SimikPK]

Thanks Simik, "state of the igloo" is meant to be sort of an anti-colloquialism. A remote version of "sorry about the state of the place". I think a common sentiment in domestic relationships. You did make me think about changing "state" to "shape". But that might be opening another can of worms. Still thinking about it. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. Appreciated - Paul

I see your point. I am not that familiar with English (shame on me) to have recognized that colloquial expression. What the line conveys is quite clear, but as I said, to me it states what it does in too much words - byt only if viewed separetely. Now, having recognized the parallel with "polar bear of the day", and "scrape..." I read it differently and it fits. So, my bad. Now I am  thinking about the I am cold line. It conveys the atmosphere perfectly, but... what about I have been cold... (and had no energy or was unwilling to tidy up the igloo then). The present perfect tense, unlike using WAS cold, would not then disturb the sense of need to burn the blubber in the present of the poem. Just a suggestion, works well as it is, too, also as a transition to the second part. It justifies the not tyding up the igloo (I wasnt lazy however, I srapped the blubber) and also  shifts attention from the "selfish" I to the adressee - they will also benefit from the blubber...

The more I read it, the more I find there and the more I like it. This is a quality of a poem, especially such a short one. The multifold meanings.

[spacecoaster]

I know this isn't proper feedback but I just love this poem and I had to say so! Aside from what has been mentioned I do not see room for improvement.

[Tiger the Lion]

Thank you Simik and spacecoaster, sometimes I'm convinced I've written a private joke to myself and not really a poem. And I do that often. Good to see anyone else enjoying the joke. Appreciated, Paul

[donbouquet]

like the imagery
could leave out the punctuation entirely as the lines stand alone

[justcloudy]

The title and its payoff was great. I thought of the people, and the May ones that are tall with ribbons, but learning they were the frozen bear kind was fun.
The scraping blubber bit was a bit off-putting, but maybe that's the point.
Thanks for sharing.
-jc

[azure]

Poles
Sorry about the state of the igloo;
it's been a polar bear of a day
and I am cold.
 
I've managed to scrape
blubber to burn through the night 
if we can find a spark.

I enjoyed the whimsical tone in this piece. The images it conjured in my mind were fresh, so thanks for that. The last stanza was really inviting.
The only issue I have is with L6. I just think it could possibly be shortened or reworded to make it more... I dunno, savory? At any rate, I liked it.

Azure

[billy]

not sure about the penultimate line (would blubber be better on the line above?) but it's a clever little piece showing that life in general can be pretty hard going.

Poles
Sorry about the state of the igloo;
it's been a polar bear of a day great line, and extends the original metaphore
and I am cold.
 
I've managed to scrape
blubber to burn through the night
if we can find a spark.