Hollow

[Heyyous]

Hello every, I very much like the idea of giving feedback but cannot give any valuable feedback without first getting a feeling for were my own writings currently stand. So with that said I would like to share with you one of my first peoms, It is not the first one I wrote but I feel I conveyed the idea well, However I feel better words could have been used... So please don't hold back because I hate the idea of wasting my time writing poorly.

Hollow
These words have no meaning
Such emotion cannot be contained within the reading

No matter what I choose to write
The birth of my ideas possible to be viewed like the night

Without the proper perception
These words are hollow without intention

[ellajam]

Why do you feel you can't read and understand other poster's poems unless they comment on yours first?

You may want to seek out a different site that works that way. The Pig Pen requires you to give before you receive.

Good luck with your writing, ella/mod

Hello every, I very much like the idea of giving feedback but cannot give any valuable feedback without first getting a feeling for were my own writings currently stand. So with that said I would like to share with you one of my first peoms, It is not the first one I wrote but I feel I conveyed the idea well, However I feel better words could have been used... So please don't hold back because I hate the idea of wasting my time writing poorly.

Hollow
These words have no meaning
Such emotion cannot be contained within the reading

No matter what I choose to write
The birth of my ideas possible to be viewed like the night

Without the proper perception
These words are hollow without intention

[Heyyous]

because I am unwilling to make a fool out of myself by giving constructive criticism without first knowing how others view my own work. How could I ever help someone with their own poetry if I do not at least have some form of opinion of my own work from them? Nobody has ever in my entire life commented on my poetry and for all I know I could be completely missing certain elements that dictate a thoughtful and well to the point poem.
So I would love to give feedback just as much as I would love to receive it so we can all grow together, However I am unwilling to share my opinions until I have at least an idea of what I need to work on for myself. Thanks for the reply
If you would like to comment on this poem and then link me to one of yours I would feel morally obliged to return the favor & happily do so.

[ellajam]

While my own writing skills may be inferior to many here, that does not keep me from reading, understanding or noting the weak and strong points of poems. If you read enough on the site I'm sure you could get the hang of it.

If you are not willing or able to comply with the rules of the site, which are basically Give more than, and before you receive, this may not be the right site for you.

because I am unwilling to make a fool out of myself by giving constructive criticism without first knowing how others view my own work. How could I ever help someone with their own poetry if I do not at least have some form of opinion of my own work from them? Nobody has ever in my entire life commented on my poetry and for all I know I could be completely missing certain elements that dictate a thoughtful and well to the point poem.
So I would love to give feedback just as much as I would love to receive it so we can all grow together, However I am unwilling to share my opinions until I have at least an idea of what I need to work on for myself. Thanks for the reply
If you would like to comment on this poem and then link me to one of yours I would feel morally obliged to return the favor & happily do so.

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey Heyous. I think for most of us, thoughtful insight into someone else's work is much harder to write than our own poetry. You will benefit from taking that leap if you choose to. I can't tell you how much I've learned here by taking that leap. - Delicate olive branch below...
 

Hello every, I very much like the idea of giving feedback but cannot give any valuable feedback without first getting a feeling for were my own writings currently stand. So with that said I would like to share with you one of my first peoms, It is not the first one I wrote but I feel I conveyed the idea well, However I feel better words could have been used... So please don't hold back because I hate the idea of wasting my time writing poorly.

Hollow  - rather cliche, especially for your title, not the end of the world though
These words have no meaning -then why should the reader continue?
Such emotion cannot be contained within the reading -I try to avoid the word "such" - almost always weak

No matter what I choose to write
The birth of my ideas possible to be viewed like the night -I don't understand this line - could be me

Without the proper perception
These words are hollow without intention -I can read the last lines a dozen different ways. Some thoughtful punctuation might help steer the reader.


Good luck, 
Paul

[Heyyous]

At least you have the ability to judge who's work you deem better then your own and know who to turn towards for inspiration. Just as much as you have the ability to point out structural errors or concepts that a newer writer may have missed. If I told you I felt like this poem could be horrible and I have no idea if you get the message would you believe me? What if I told you my idea of meter comes completely natural and I could be doing it entirely wrong?
I mean this is entirely what the poem is saying lol.
I suppose this is poetic justice at its finest. I shall go share my naively ignorant idea of a good poem with other members since this is what you are ultimately asking of me. I will value no other opinion because I have no value of my own opinion and in turn we will all lack substance.
Is a good poem not determined by others? Does a poet not need affirmation that his work is understood? For all I know this is Robert Frost quality work and I am a literary genius... Perhaps not lol , I want you to judge. However if Robert Frost was a member of this board would you not hold his opinion greatly?
Idk, the concept of someone giving constructive criticism when the other person doesn't value the opinion of the giver seems redundant.
I was just hoping this was a forum were people shared their poetry and helped others make theirs better. Going around giving criticism to others so I can post my own works seems quite insensitive. Then again my attempt at leaving constructive criticism was deleted now wasn't it?
Idk I liked that poem and that's what I told him/her, Perhaps it could have been better but from my ignorant point of view I do not know.
If you would like I can go around and change words in peoples poems and tell them why I think it is better this way. Then they can think I am a jerk who thinks that I think they are morons and in return value me as a moron.
Idk sorry I keep writing I am new to this and my ideas are quite endless... However I have no idea if I am properly conveying them. Could I ask you this. Do you think that poem is good and I should value my opinion to give to others so I can feel like I am helping them? I will lay that solely on you because I have no idea
I hope that we can become friends but you keep telling me I should consider a different community before I have even drove around the block. Quite confusing literally, You are.

@Paul Thank you, Yes I am quite a delicate olive branch indeed. Well put.
I will keep that in mind next time I start with the word " Such"
"The birth of my ideas possible to be viewed like the night" That means you can view my words any way that you like, Much like you can think a million different things as you stare into a dark sky.

"Without the proper perception
These words are hollow without intention" That means if I cannot properly write out what I am trying to say it can be viewed a million different ways, it is intentional that you can read it out many different ways.

Yes lol, The entire poem is very clique, Does that make it bad?
I will go post some criticism in attempt to share my opinions the way you did yours.

[billy]

give feedback elsewhere and ask a mod to open your thread, this is a poetry thread, discussions are had elsewhere /mod