Don't tell me Happy Father's Day

[Erthona]

Happy Father’s Day

I was a father once,
until my ex-wife and the courts took
my girls away.

The court said, they don’t need
your presence, they just need
you to pay.

My ex-wife who was turning them
into amoral sluts said, "Just hand over the money,
you've nothing of worth to say.

It's just like turning a trick,
so make it quick, dump your load,
and have a nice day."

I was a father once, now I’m just a
John who pays to get screwed, so don’t tell me,
“Happy Father’s Day!”



–Erthona



©2011-14

[Brownlie]

Happy Father’s Day

I was a father once,
until my ex-wife and the courts took
my girls away.

The court said, they don’t need
your presence, they just need
you to pay.

My ex-wife who was turning them
into amoral sluts said, "Just hand over the money, --Maybe add some details. "Amoral sluts" sounds a bit misogynistic especially in relation to "girls."
you've nothing of worth to say.

It's just like turning a trick,
so make it quick, dump your load,
and have a nice day."

I was a father once, now I’m just a
John who pays to get screwed, so don’t tell me, -- Well, you did have a pun in here.
“Happy Father’s Day!”



–Erthona



©2011-14

Seems facetious. In that case, the amoral sluts can be pretty funny. Thanks for posting.

[ChristopherSea]

Dale, If you are the narrator, sorry that you don't have a better relationship with the Ex and your girls. However, I would not blame the children for the Ex's shortages. Perhaps you could turn this sentence about on her:

'My ex-wife who was turning them
into amoral sluts said,...'

with something more like:

'My slutty amoral ex-wife
who was raising them said,...'

or something in that vein which may serve you better and place the narrator's anger against the Ex and not the girls themselves.

Cheers/Chris

[Erthona]

This is not purely autobiographical. I was a therapist for many years and heard many stories from men who were going through something similar, so this is a conglomeration of all of that. The focus of the narrator's anger is on the ex-spouse, because of what she is doing to the girls, and he feels frustrated that he can't stop it. The anger comes out of his love for the girls, that she is turning them into something that will be to their detriment as adults. And he is helpless to stop it because the courts are heavily slanted towards the mother. Obviously by implication the ex-spouse is passing on the values she lives by. What is not explicit is that she, the ex, is bringing a different man home every night, and as the husband knows she is teaching to girls to lie, by calling the father up and saying things like they don't have enough money to eat. Here is one in a similar vein that is a little more explicit, or a little more explanatory.

The Relative Values of X’s and Y’s

Children were returning to school today,
back from the summer holiday,
mine, I saw, weren't among them here.
They were in a foreign land somewhere,
that has an advantageous exchange rate,
where living, just on child support is great,
for a lazy mother, who I just put through school,
and says that taking them away is not cruel.
She tells them how to lie to me,
hoping to scam some more money,
so she can continue to sit on her butt,
and teach my girls to act like sluts.
However, about that I will never have a say,
for the X in court has all the sway,
while the Y most often gets the boot,
unless there is ironclad absolute proof,
of an ongoing pattern of child abuse
extreme; if not, the court is obtuse.
This is how the scales of justice slide,
always strongly tipped to X's side,
and believing from her every lie,
thus X is valued so, over worthless Y.
The courts say that Y is much to crass,
to contribute anything excepting cash,
which they take from me without my say,
that by foreign ATM, X can piss away,
then have my daughters call and beg of me,
saying "We've no food daddy, please send money!"

Dale

[71degrees]

Happy Father’s Day

I was a father once,
until my ex-wife and the courts took
my girls away.

The court said, they don’t need
your presence, they just need
you to pay.

My ex-wife who was turning them
into amoral sluts said, "Just hand over the money,
you've nothing of worth to say.

It's just like turning a trick,
so make it quick, dump your load,
and have a nice day."

I was a father once, now I’m just a
John who pays to get screwed, so don’t tell me,
“Happy Father’s Day!”



–Erthona



©2011-14

The third stanza is quite awkward. She "was" turning them into sluts? Has she stopped? This whole story is old. I do like the first line, but nothing special is happening after that. He said, she said. Sorry.

[billy]

as a pissed of ex who lost his girls, i'd like to have seen it as a bit more gritty. i think there's a lot of potential with the subject matter but it's subject matter that need to grip the reader with stronger images.

thanks for the read as always.

Happy Father’s Day

I was a father once,
until my ex-wife and the courts took
my girls away.

The court said, they don’t need use another word instead of court again, a suggestion would be judiciary or something else
your presence, they just need
you to pay.

My ex-wife who was turning them is who needed?
into amoral sluts said, "Just hand over the money, you once advised me to separate quotes from the rest of the poem, i suggest it back :J: into amoral sluts work for me. one can presumed that when they became sluts the mother had no need to carry on with such an act.
you've nothing of worth to say.

It's just like turning a trick, another [just]
so make it quick, dump your load,
and have a nice day."

I was a father once, now I’m just a and another
John who pays to get screwed, so don’t tell me,
“Happy Father’s Day!”



–Erthona



©2011-14

[bena]

awkward comma in s2 L1.

I have a plan to get her back, but it might be incriminating if I post it here, so pm me dear. We'll need 2 oxen, a javelin, a shovel and some oleander.

smooches,
mel.