In Comic Relief
#1
An attempt at light comedy at the end of a long heavy winter.[/u]


In Comic Relief
When it's warmer on Mars than the tip of your tongue
and salted cars are seasoned like wind-whipped faces
bent toward the rumored spring

when frozen beards beg tropics to hibernate
and we ration ever thinning fats
for a tardy, tardy morning

when sled dogs are a team of doubt
and howl at angels flying south
- the sun is a stranger

When lament is the song we are given to dance
and salted scars are reasoned as wind-whipped faces
bent toward the rumored spring

when tuxedoed penguins are under dressed
and haunt the strip malls busking for krill
with no heartsong to sing

when a snowy owl with an icy mouth
cries foul at angels flying south
- the sun is a stranger

So when at last he appears in a scene as brief
as a smile through chattering guillotine teeth
and pretends amends in comic relief
we don’t suspend our disbelief
- the sun is a stranger

Ra Ra Ra, Ra Ra Ra Ra
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#2
(05-21-2014, 11:00 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  An attempt at light comedy at the end of a long heavy winter.[/u]


In Comic Relief
When it's warmer on Mars than the tip of your tongue
and salted cars are seasoned like wind-whipped faces
bent toward the rumored spring

when frozen beards beg tropics to hibernate
and we ration ever thinning fats
for a tardy, tardy morning

when sled dogs are a team of doubt
and howl at angels flying south
- the sun is a stranger

When lament is the song we are given to dance
and salted scars are reasoned as wind-whipped faces
bent toward the rumored spring

when tuxedoed penguins are under dressed
and haunt the strip malls busking for krill
with no heartsong to sing

when a snowy owl with an icy mouth
cries foul at angels flying south
- the sun is a stranger

So when at last he appears in a scene as brief
as a smile through chattering guillotine teeth
and pretends amends in comic relief
we don’t suspend our disbelief
- the sun is a stranger

Ra Ra Ra, Ra Ra Ra Ra

I thought the ending was funny. Thumbsup
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#3
Thx Brownlie. I really hope you meant the last stanza, and not just the tongue in cheek Ra Ra Ra. The last stanza in an unashamed attempt to end the piece like Puck. A conclusion almost removed from the rest of the poem.
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#4
When, when, when, when.....

Take the "when" out and you have some nice descriptions.


Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#5
Thank you Erthona. I actually always liked the "whens" because when is the question I'm really asking. However I've pasted a version to myself without the "whens" so I can get a feel of it that way.
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