April Fools

[Erthona]

.

Your apology lies untouched between us
like counterfeit bills proffered to pay
a loan: interest laden — long past due.
Yet...you pretend hurt feelings when
such often tried insincerity is rejected.
I wonder, is this an automatic response,
or have you finally fallen victim to your
own lies and half truths: delusional,
unable to distinguish between your
conveniently created fictions and realities.

The coin you now are forced to use
is so patently plasticine that it obviously
lacks the ability to ring with anything
except absolute and abject falseness.
I once thought that everyone possessed
intrinsic worth, but if that is so, you must
have feverishly spent yours like a child with
a roll of dimes desperately trying to win
a prize at the traveling carnival — and
we both know what the odds are of that!

I somehow loved you once, before the
compounding interest on your continual
deceptions finally burned to a crisp that
near impossibility. Yet still, you seek
to trade on that old stock, long since devalued
beyond recognition when compared to
anything of any real worth, not realizing
that your behavior, which love once
made barely tolerable, has passed
from the simply disgusting and immoral,
into the realm of pure absurdity... as have you.

So...what lie are you needing me to believe
this time, in the hope of cheating me out of
whatever you feel is somehow your due,
but has yet to come into your possession?
Forgive me if I don't sit through your
whole performance, but your material,
even when fresh was stale, and that
was many years ago. Your acting was never good,
as you lacked the necessary rapport with
your audience to even try to appear sincere
and only love’s willingness to completely discount
the obvious ever made it close to believable.

When you are finished with your rendering,
(all impurities aside), just show yourself
out (as you showed yourself in).
Please, quietly take whatever it is
you have come to steal. Whatever
it is, is probably worth it to me, if
it buys your absence, at least until
you think I have forgotten this
latest trick and you feel enough
hope of success to appear once
again to play another.

[cidermaid]

Nicely done. No crits. It is in the fun scetion, but I like it as it is in fact...
On a personal level this one is spot on for someone v close to me to vocalise what she is feeling about her ex-fiancée - who dumped her and broke off the engagement with no explanation on boxing day, did not speak to her for four weeks; then made up with her the week before she took off to NZ and said he would join her over there. Then told her he was not on the flight and not going to join her, four hours before he was due to land. She had a complete breakdown and had to come home for the last two years he has had kept her at arms length but then kept dangling the idea of getting back together with his counterfeit promises of commitment and love. She was so hopelessly in love that she was totally blind...finally yesterday she woke up, got angry and told him to sling his hook. (With much celebration from me). So this might be posted in the fun with a topical title (how apt), but for this reader your words are perfect - almost like they were written to order. I would have liked a bit more character assassination, but the manipulative crappy acting could have been taken from observational notes! After she has read this perhaps she will send it the to the git that has stolen four years from her life with his faux love.
Thanks for posting.

[billy]

it bites (in a good way)

[Erthona]

cidermaid,

Glad you found it useful, and if it helps your friend, so much the better.

Thanks for giving it a read,

Dale
-----------------------------------------------------
it bites (in a good way)

Well I am extra crunchy

Thanks for the look,

dale

[ellajam]

erthona wrote:
I once thought that everyone possessed
intrinsic worth, but if that is so, you must
have feverishly spent yours like a child with
a roll of dimes desperately trying to win
a prize at the traveling carnival — and
we both know what the odds are of that!

ouch, the whole of it a bite of bitter spit out, better to cut ties and eat a peach.

Well done.

[Wildcard]

Dale,

I felt as if the narrator is lying to me. The words are ferocious and cutting and seem to want to sound even more harsh and bitter than they already are. The tone is even darker than the letter but even before the ending, I felt as if I was coming to the conclusion that narrator is her fool and always will be.

It is very clever of you to have written a piece that conveys its meaning through the forcefulness of its bluff-- IF that is what you intended . . . I have to keep in mind that I may have it all wrong.

[Erthona]

"ouch, the whole of it a bite of bitter spit out, better to cut ties and eat a peach."
ellajam is my favorite peach!
--------------------------------------------------------------

Mark,

No, I think you have it. The speaker concedes on his terms, so to speak, and acts as though it is a victory, which it of course is not.

Dale