religious poetry

[Erthona]

.

The religious, on some other sites,
write little crappy lines.
If I were that guy named Jesus
I’d slap them dumb and blind.
Evidently the muses
won’t work for poor JC.
if poetry were football,
he’s only got JV.
His followers are ignorant,
not to mention talent-less,
Instead of saving souls,
he should boot them in the ass.
I hear some rode their camels,
following a star,
I think I’d try to lose them,
they’re bad for his PR.
If beggars could be choosers,
I’d choose the brighter few,
Then when they write him poems,
--He could say—
They do know what they do!


-Erthona

[rayheinrich]

.
... I’d choose the brighter few...

ay, there's the rub

[billy]

only a cruel god like dale would slap them dumb and blind

enjoyable indeed

[ChristopherSea]

Amen Brotha! Most are already silly, so slapping them will do no good. An old fashion stoning or crucifixion could make a statement. Those Holy Rhymers have infected every vanity poetry site on the internet.

[Erthona]

Thanks guys. This is one of very few poetry sites I could post this on and not get stoned myself...and I don't mean like Billy

Merry Christmas,


Dale

[ChristopherSea]

Thanks guys. This is one of very few poetry sites I could post this on and not get stoned myself...and I don't mean like Billy

Merry Christmas,


Dale

Dale, I enjoy and appreciate your Christianity poetry. Just to make myself clear, there is nothing wrong with religious poetry of any faith, whether celebratory, existential, critical or some other aspect. Fine poetry stands on its own merit regardless of subject. Durante degli Alighieri was pretty good with Christian themed works.

I just don't care for that trite greeting card stuff you alluded to and those sites where the same folks vie for top poet by splashing syrup all about. One site that I haphazardly joined had a religious fanatic at the helm who would censor poems and ban others based on his holier-than-thou ethic.

[ellajam]

That was fun. While I'm sure there are talented poets who have done justice to JC, it won't be me wading through the dreck to find an example.

[Erthona]

Yeah, I use to edit this college poetry mag, and about 25% were the types of poem you'd expect being located in the Bible belt. What was instructive was how easy it was to tell that they got their information/facts from some other source other than the bible. I remember one poem that was talking about something from the old testament and it kept referring to "Lucifer" as being the name of the snake in the garden. I asked the writer if he didn't know that the word Lucifer was only used once in the Old Testament (the Hebrew Bible), and that was Isaiah making reference to a king of Babylon. He responded very forcefully that I was a complete idiot and that everyone knew that the "devil" "Satan" and "Lucifer" were the same person. Oh well, at least he had probably read some Milton, unlike most of the Jesus Hallmark card writers.

Thanks for the comments Chris and Marcella,

Dale

[heslopian]

L3 - 4 are my favourites They're like a reversal of his miracles. "If I'd known you'd talk such shit I wouldn't have bothered healing you!"

[Erthona]

fogglethorpe,

Not be argumentative, but my "wholesale dismissal" was against the usual tripe that passes for religious poetry (and of course one cannot critique it becaue...fill in the blank). I am a great fan of some religious poets, especially Rumi. If you missed it I posted a poem I wrote called "Destroy this Temple" in the "who are you thread" you might find interesting.

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=13645



You may want to talk to the mods about posting a poem on this thread, I got severely reprimanded for doing that (although it may be on one forum that it is strictly forbidden and not on this one) when I first joined, but I am fine with it.

Thanks for the comments,


Dale

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Thanks Heslopian, glad you enjoyed it.

Dale

[ellajam]

Fun rules:

No flaming, trolling, spamming or anything else that contravenes the open forum rules.

Feel free to join in any games and challenges. Try to keep banter to a minimum in these threads and follow the rules. Banter and lighthearted responses are encouraged in all other threads. No critique is required.

That's all. I'm pretty sure a poem in response is fine here.

[Erthona]

Thank you, Ella my sweet jam,
I is what I is, and I knows what I likes,
and I sure do like me some ellajam,
so good on toast, much better than spam,
she's a sweet delight, my ellajam!

[Brownlie]

.

The religious, on some other sites,
write little crappy lines.
If I were that guy named Jesus
I’d slap them dumb and blind.
Evidently the muses
won’t work for poor JC.
if poetry were football,
he’s only got JV.
His followers are ignorant,
not to mention talent-less,
Instead of saving souls,
he should boot them in the ass.
I hear some rode their camels,
following a star,
I think I’d try to lose them,
they’re bad for his PR.
If beggars could be choosers,
I’d choose the brighter few,
Then when they write him poems,
--He could say—
They do know what they do!


-Erthona

Paradise lost... Though some of his attempts at harsh protestant verses can be argued as failed attempts

[Erthona]

More Milquetoast than Milton.

Dale

[Todd]

I'd say that most of my religiously themed poetry would have had me burned or banished in an earlier age. There is very little poetry of this type that I find interesting. Another problem that I see is when the poem is too close of a retelling without adding some interesting slant or observation.

In response to your funny poem Dale I'd add just because he chose the weak things to shame the strong does that mean he had to choose the sappy poor writers to shame the few that could. They need to wait till tounges of fire inspire their work or at least mercifully light it all on fire.

We can bring marshmallows.

[cidermaid]

Tongues of fire and marshmallows - can't beat a good bonfire for all round entertainment.
Very topical with the camel reference; or perhaps that whole Abraham / camel thing is only in the UK press and this was an as seen line?

Umm - no one likes to admit to being slow on the uptake, but I have to confess that I didn't catch on with the JV reference. (Probably going to kick myself when it is pointed out. I'm assuming it is an American football player).
Fun read. I totally get the type of character portrayed here, but perhaps the stereotype of “let’s make fun of the Christian” gets a bit predictable – dare I say cliché in today’s culture. Milton gets points for some originality in his day, but the "If in doubt mock the christian" has been around for some 2000 years, but I guess each generation has to go through the motions and the fashion keeps comming back round. No doubt that many were pleased when mini skirts came back in.
But sadly, I know the character type all too well - Not sure what it is with some people and faith, but somehow they have their sense of life, fun, intellect and normalcy removed when they see the light...and as someone who has been thrown out of Church for suggesting that if we were going to practice the gifts of the spirit, we could do the gift of martyrdom and raising the dead back to back....I feel qualified to say this. (For anyone wondering:- It was the suggestion that we could practice a gift that set me off).

Anyway thanks for the read - made me smile.

[Erthona]

Todd,

I hear they roast marshmallows in hell!
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cidermaid,

JV stands for junior varsity, or the "B" team. No kicking needed, fairly obscure term I guess outside of the US.

Dale