rafters

[crow]

rafters

He fell up up and away and in
Between the spaces where the memories go
Through, laughing souls changed, medals don’t
Mean much anymore, discontinued, unminted,
Landed. You see an old car, and lickity split,
You’re called to the rafters. You rush home.
<<--Mix Tape-->>s for someone you don’t know
Anymore: who? what’s on it?: this broken tape, this angel music.

When we moved in, there were shoeboxes in the attic,
Pictures of people we didn’t know who’d moved on,
An old, unopened Calvin and Hobbes collection . . .
They found a wounded baby raccoon, and Calvin,
Accepting its death, said to Hobbes, “ . . . but don’t you
go anywhere!” And the tall black figure looms in a shoebox
As I hold onto you for dear life, evenasweloveeachotherevenaswe’reforcedto move
on . . .
-----
for reference

http://oi29.tinypic.com/2vcj7uu.jpg

[ChessPiece]

rafters

He fell up up and away and in
Between the spaces where the memories go <--- I see this line break style is used throughout this piece but this one seems to put the breaks on abruptly
Through, laughing souls changed, medals don’t <--- any form of the word soul makes me cringe
Mean much anymore, discontinued, unminted,
Landed. You see an old car, and lickity split,
You’re called to the rafters. You rush home.
<<--Mix Tape-->>s for someone you don’t know <---this part's excellent, I can really see cassette labeled <<--Mix Tape-->>
Anymore: who? what’s on it?: this broken tape, this angel music.

When we moved in, there were shoeboxes in the attic,
Pictures of people we didn’t know who’d moved on,
An old, unopened Calvin and Hobbes collection . . . <- I like this stanza with C&H quote even before looking at the reference provided and I like how it creates the image of the speaker flipping through this book and landing on something relevant to the moment he's in
They found a wounded baby raccoon, and Calvin,
Accepting its death, said to Hobbes, “ . . . but don’t you
go anywhere!” And the tall black figure looms in a shoebox
As I hold onto you for dear life, evenasweloveeachotherevenaswe’reforcedto move <--- this reminds me of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and it doesn't need it imo...especially since it has a contraction within, looks weird
on . . .
-----

Nice piece overall!
for reference

http://oi29.tinypic.com/2vcj7uu.jpg