Hohohum for everyone

[ellajam]

Feel free to join in.


Overwhelmed by season's rush
a layaway can go unclaimed.
Just one brief car trip near a mall
can leave one's spirit raw and maimed.
December's time to hide away,
to light a fire, to settle in;
watch the snow accumulate
in drifts as winds cause flakes to spin.
Sheltered from the jingling tunes
until by text sent through the air:
with big fat grin and gleaming eyes,
a four year old on Santa's chair.

[oxomiya]

I like the lines
"Sheltered from the jingling tunes
until by text sent through the air:"

The layaway piece feels out of place. I think this would be a better poem without the first four lines. Nice work.

[ellajam]

I like the lines
"Sheltered from the jingling tunes
until by text sent through the air:"

The layaway piece feels out of place. I think this would be a better poem without the first four lines. Nice work.

Thanks for reading. Got one?