Feeling of the Soul

[Simatong]

Fragments of time fall at my feet as I walk on starlight itself.
My heart is beckoned by the gravity of the sun, and I become one with the source of life.
The intensity of emotion and light invade my soul, and in an instant, the world explodes as I shatter with it,
scattering to a million regions of the untamed universe.
My cells touch every aspect of every atom as my pieces unite with mass and matter, and I feel the pulsating rhythm of infinity,
something that my soul understands but that the eyes will never know; Suddenly, my pieces reunite and I find myself cradled in the arms of a deeper void.
Gaea herself calls me home, and I rise with the solar winds, carried across the endless chasm of space to the realm of the dreamer.
I merge with reality and become flesh once again, and as I awaken to the sight of Autumnal bliss, I stare assuredly at the ever-glowing sky,
a single piece of a cosmic pantheon. I close my eyes and hear a sigh; the Earth breathes in unison.

[hankabadpoet]

Gorgeous imagery and wonderful subject matter. I must say though, it could use some shifting in punctuation perhaps. Lines 3-7 feel like one single idea, and the period after the word 'universe' breaks that up. Disregarding grammatical convention, a comma would be nice giving it a run-on feeling, almost like a passionate rant... And perhaps a period at "the eyes will never know. Suddenly,"
Another thing I am personally craving in this piece is some sort of stanza break, so the individual ideas can be seen separately and it all doesn't just run together. Fine writing overall!
Hank.

[Simatong]

Gorgeous imagery and wonderful subject matter. I must say though, it could use some shifting in punctuation perhaps. Lines 3-7 feel like one single idea, and the period after the word 'universe' breaks that up. Disregarding grammatical convention, a comma would be nice giving it a run-on feeling, almost like a passionate rant... And perhaps a period at "the eyes will never know. Suddenly,"
Another thing I am personally craving in this piece is some sort of stanza break, so the individual ideas can be seen separately and it all doesn't just run together. Fine writing overall!
Hank.

Thank you for your input. I am swamped with work right now, but when I have the time (hopefully very soon), I will definitely see what I can do.