hide and seek by milo

[Leanne]

you tricked me - being lost
could be such fun
and so I close my eyes
and shout out “one

Mississippi two”
and press my head against the tree
alone enough to hear each falling leaf
but still I scream,

convinced that you might hear, “three
Mississippi four”
as years pass by on padded paws
like wolves, in packs, close by and you’re

too far gone to know if I’m alive
but scared, I cry out, “five
Mississippi six”
and I am fine, so maybe I can save

you, as you have been too long within the wood
and I am strong so I should
open up my eyes and I
am kneeling at your grave.



The original post can be found here.

[justcloudy]

beautiful milo. simple, sweet, and painful. really touching.

thanks for highlighting Leanne.

[Keith]

I missed this first time round so I am really glad it was brought back under the spot light, It gets better with every read Milo

[tigrflye]

I caught it the first time because I'm from Mississippi, and that grabbed my eye. I keep rereading it because it is excellent. Bravo

[billy]

i realise it isn't about hide and seek, but it's poignant enough to reach back into childhood and allow the reader time to time travel to a special place. the feeling of loss and being lost taps into that universal sadness we all feel at one time or another when we're alone thinking about someone who's special to us. the poem begs the reader (me) to pause just that little bit longer because of the enjambment you have going on. good choice and a great example of image and metaphor.

[Todd]

I read poetry for those moments where a poem just knocks the crap out of me (I have a violent relationship with good poems). This one had an immediate impact. It reminded me (at least in theme) to a lot of what I've read from Nick Flynn's Some Ether collection.

A well-deserved nod for this one. One of the better poems, I've read recently.

[ChristopherSea]

Hauntingly beautiful milo!/Chris

[milo]

Thanks to everyone. It is a delightful surprise when people connect to something you write. I loved the poem but was actually so unsure I considered not posting and then even considered deleting it after I had posted it. Being selected to be highlighted on this site is a fantastic feeling that makes me bubble with pride for days, so thanks again.

[jdeirmend]

I caught this in the original thread, and was terribly impressed. This sets the bar too high for most of us to approach, I'm afraid, at least not without a ton of help and dedication.

I can't get over the rhymes and the breaks. It's a rare free-verse piece that has its own definite, if irregular, rhythm and cadence. Form and content meld seamlessly, to where every line break and enjambment is crucial to producing the final effect, wherein the meaning of the extended metaphor congeals.

This is a poem about love and loss, love in absence and presence, the games that people who love each other play with each other, and so very much more.

I dare say I see something of you in it, as a human being, Milo. But it is artfully executed to where the mood behind it is stripped of its ipseity, and it shines as something, as Billy put it, with a universal theme.

[milo]

I caught this in the original thread, and was terribly impressed. This sets the bar too high for most of us to approach, I'm afraid, at least not without a ton of help and dedication.

I can't get over the rhymes and the breaks. It's a rare free-verse piece that has its own definite, if irregular, rhythm and cadence. Form and content meld seamlessly, to where every line break and enjambment is crucial to producing the final effect, wherein the meaning of the extended metaphor congeals.

This is a poem about love and loss, love in absence and presence, the games that people who love each other play with each other, and so very much more.

I dare say I see something of you in it, as a human being, Milo. But it is artfully executed to where the mood behind it is stripped of its ipseity, and it shines as something, as Billy put it, with a universal theme.

I do appreciate the sentiments, James. I am not sure I would call this free verse, I would be more likely to call it "blank verse" with varying line lengths, but I doubt it is relevant.

As for seeing something of me? I doubt knowing any small bit of my life (which no one here does) would improve the understanding or appreciation of anything I write, but I could be wrong.

[beaufort]

This is the best. So poignant and heart - breakingly sad ( I know, that's not a word). You had me with "Mississippi one". Just great.

[milo]

This is the best. So poignant and heart - breakingly sad ( I know, that's not a word). You had me with "Mississippi one". Just great.

Thanks, beaufort, I appreciate the read.

[NobodyNothing]

This is one of my faves on the site.  How you did the passage of time...  So moving to me.  Made me feel such a tender sorrow.  Poems should make you feel more human, I guess.  This one certainly did.  

[milo]

This is one of my faves on the site.  How you did the passage of time...  So moving to me.  Made me feel such a tender sorrow.  Poems should make you feel more human, I guess.  This one certainly did.  

Thanks,  I'm glad it worked for you. 

[just mercedes]

Thank you milo - this is so poignant, hearing ghost voices, becoming a ghost voice. Well done!

[cjchaffin]

oh my. sometimes you stumble across things that just grab you and won't let go. this poem is one of those things.
i've been sitting here reading it repeatedly for the last fifteen minutes and i can't decide
if i need to read it for another fifteen or just bookmark the page to keep coming back whenever i want...

i think i'll do both.

beautiful, milo. beautiful and sad and painful and gripping. everything i want in a poem. thank you.

[milo]

Thanks, you two. It is a great feeling when something you create touches others.