New to the site

[Charlesjoseph]

Hey Guys, Never did this before but what the hell let me have it.

The Corn Maze

The trees are on fire again
Red, Green, Gold, and Brown
Soon they will be grey as ash.

Another summer, another autumn,
And soon, the snow will fall.

In the fields, the tractor wheels,
Kick up harvest moon dust,
While children select pumpkins,
To decorate windows and porches.

Another summer, another autumn,
And soon everything green will die.

As we walk this maze of dead stalks,
The New Year Beckons,
To spring the strongest seeds.

[pedestrian]

I really like your poem, it's lovely and sweet.
But I would say maybe ease up on the commas a bit? It gets a tad cluttered. You don't need them at the end of lines if you're using enjambment so you don't need to have them after wheels, dust, pumpkins, both autumns... maybe just tidy it up a bit punctuation-wise?
It's a lovely poem and you don't want to weigh it down

Hope this helps!

[Charlesjoseph]

Your totally right.... i just wrote this the other day so i didn't edit it much. pretty funny observation considering my observation of yours.
Cheers

[ChristopherSea]

You have to correct your punctuation and use of caps.

The Corn Maze

The trees are on fire again;
red, green, gold and grown.
Soon they will be grey as ash.

Another summer, another autumn delete comma
and soon delete comma the snow will fall.

In the fields delete comma the tractor wheels delete comma
kick up harvest moon dust,
While children select pumpkins delete comma
to decorate windows and porches.

Another summer, another autumn delete comma
and soon everything green will die.

As we walk this maze of dead stalks,
the New Year beckons delete comma
to spring the strongest seeds.
[/quote]

[Charlesjoseph]

Hey Chris,
Thanks for the help and edit.
I have a question. Did you mean to change the word brown in the second line to grown. Because it really works for me like that....

[ChristopherSea]

Hey Chris,
Thanks for the help and edit.
I have a question. Did you mean to change the word brown in the second line to grown. Because it really works for me like that....

Just playing a little, but do whichever you like best!