The Chaser (sonnet)

[Selma Pew]

Take me by the hand, and guide me away
Drown out my past, and wash away my pain
I want you to go, I need you to stay
Forget the nights we've spent in the rain

I don’t know where we’re going, or where we came from
So I let the shadows fill one more cup
Together we’ll be comfortably numb
Already so low, but you’ll bring me up

I have tried to stop this ongoing war,
But I can’t slow down, I can’t hit the breaks.
I’ve put down my cup, and I always want more
Just take me away, far from these mistakes

It's been too long, though I wish I could stop
And now that we’re here, it’s time for the drop

[ThePinsir]

I like that you used a Shakespearean model. I've only been here for like a week, but every sonnet I've seen is petrarchan.
I loved line 7.
But...I need to know who you're talking to. Are you talking to a family member, friend, God, lover, ex?

I have to be kinda harsh: Besides line 2, nothing here even remotely resembles meter. there's a sticky around here somewhere explaining iambic pentameter. You might wanna give it a read.

[billy]

while poets may post poetry here in this forum if they wish we still expect interaction through feedback in the main poetry forums/mod

cliche is a sonnet killer, this sonnet has too many be more original with phrases.

Take me by the hand, and guide me away
Drown out my past, and wash away my pain
I want you to go, I need you to stay
Forget the nights we've spent in the rain

I don’t know where we’re going, or where we came from
So I let the shadows fill one more cup
Together we’ll be comfortably numb
Already so low, but you’ll bring me up

I have tried to stop this ongoing war,
But I can’t slow down, I can’t hit the breaks.
I’ve put down my cup, and I always want more
Just take me away, far from these mistakes

It's been too long, though I wish I could stop
And now that we’re here, it’s time for the drop