A Poem to John Green

[ireland4scots]

(I wrote this poem to an author named John Green on his facebook page):

ORIGINAL:
I Doubt this will be Read by the Intended Person,
But Poems are for All to See.
With a place such as the Internet, Ideas are let Free!
Even if I target to one Person, Any Eye can still cross
Into a world of Pixels, where Creativity is Never Lost.

EDITED:
I Doubt this will be Read,
But Poems are for All to See.
With a place such as the Internet, Ideas are let Free!
Even if I target to one Person, Any Eye can still cross
Into a world of Pixels, where Creativity is Never Lost.

I'm thinking of adding more to this poem, but it'll probably be at a later date.

[billy]

the first line is very weak
your poem needs draw people in

i doubt this will be read

is much stronger, but the poem reads more like a note than a poem
remove anything that adds nothing. create an image instead of simply telling us about it

[TheWall0912]

I too am a fan of John Greene. I really enjoyed the ending of your poem, especially the last line, but the beginning could be a little stronger. I agree with billy, maybe try to drop by the intended person in the first line. I also really like how you chose to capitalize words like free, pixels, and creativity. It caught my eye and added some strength to your piece.