Love's Way

[Bianca Alabaster]

You are the cool, crisp air
that gathers to me from the Mountain.
You are the placid pool
beneath a waterfall,
calm after all has fallen.

You are the hot sun
that warms my heart so.
You are where I began
You are where I go.

If I could be a light of love
that surrounds you
having no form,
only brightness…
I would dance and flow
around you
so you would know
love’s fullness.

I would hold you
when you cry
so you would know
you are not alone.
I would shelter you
from all harm
for even a man
comes undone.

I would do all this
and much much more
for that is Love’s Way…
I see you and know you,
Won’t you let me in the door?

[billy]

i sorted out the extraneous bits of code Bianca.

You are the placid pool
beneath a waterfall,
calm after all has fallen. nice mellow image

a soothing poem indeed.
(for me)
while a lot of the images are solid. parts of it feel a little cliche.
thanks for the read as usual Bianca.

[addy]

That image in the third stanza blew me away. I don't know, I just really really like it Thanks for the read

[Bianca Alabaster]

Glad you liked the imagery Addy. and enjoyed the poem. thanks folks, guess I have to look at this more closely. Have to school-up on what really defines cliche'. chuckle chuckle

[billy]

Glad you liked the imagery Addy. and enjoyed the poem. thanks folks, guess I have to look at this more closely. Have to school-up on what really defines cliche'. chuckle chuckle

lots has been said about cliche, or commonly used phrases being used in a poem.

my take is this;

one or two if intended is okay, can lend a certain ambiance to a piece. more than that and it's coming from what we've read. not what we've imagined ourselves.

the odds are if you've heard it said before, it a cliche.

things like;
summer breeze
cloudy skies
blood red rose
cold to the bones
raging waters
deep waters

sad smile
luscious lips
sweating brow
firm grip
salty sea

instead of these and others like them we need to make our own inage come to life with an original metaphor or idea.

as salty as a pirates shorts.

lips like jello/jelly depending where you come from.

the smile of a prune,
the smile of dead sunflower
the smile of a rose opening to the stars

the sea was ridden
by white stallions cresting
mile high walls of steel water
on hooves of thunder

often we/i tend to fall into the pretty hall mark trap.
nice flowery words that we see on the inside of a card.
if we search a little some of our phrases have been said a gazillion times

words like love and beauty were old school, used to infinity and beyond.
whenever possible instead of saying beauty or love, we need to show it.

Bianca encompassed me
like the startled dust motes
filling a sunbeam

Adele filled me
carried my ambition
in a pouch near her breast

next to Biance
a gazelle has no grace
next to Bianca
a god has no power

Next to billy
the buffoon looks like a great catch

all a cliche is, is a well worn phrase or group of words you've heard or read a lot of times.

[Bianca Alabaster]

Ahh, thanks Billy I really enjoyed that!

[billy]

Ahh, thanks Billy I really enjoyed that!

if you need links to anything concerning poetry, give us a shout and i'll sort out whatever you need.

it's much cleaner than me waffling on and on

[kath3]

You are the cool, crisp air
that gathers to me from the Mountain.
You are the placid pool
beneath a waterfall,
calm after all has fallen.

You are the hot sun
that warms my heart so.
You are where I began
You are where I go.

If I could be a light of love
that surrounds you
having no form,
only brightness…
I would dance and flow
around you
so you would know
love’s fullness.

I would hold you
when you cry
so you would know
you are not alone.
I would shelter you
from all harm
for even a man
comes undone.

I would do all this
and much much more
for that is Love’s Way…
I see you and know you,
Won’t you let me in the door?

Bianca this was such a good read for me. Many of your words describe the love I have for my husband perfectly. For me the poem ends right at I see you and I know you.
Thank you very much for this.

You are the placid pool
beneath a waterfall,
calm after all has fallen.

You are where I began
You are where I go.

I would dance and flow
around you
so you would know
love’s fullness.

[Bianca Alabaster]

Thanks Kath 3, yes the line you mention is a great ending and this one is about my husband as well, but also I wrote it for a fellow poet who is "closed" to love so I added the ending ~ to maybe help him think. My favorite verse is You are where I began you are where I go. So glad you enjoyed this.