Soulmates

[Volaticus]

Soulmates

Souls synergize -
through air waves;
oceans divide.

[cidermaid]

Hi Volaticus,
I love the title with the first two lines, i feel that this has a form of spirituality about it. But I have to confess that the last line has me a bit confused. I cannot make the "through air waves" work in a visual way with the ocean. I think my main problem is actually with the oceans divide...I think of different / seperate oceans as merging. It could just be me being on the wrong wavelength here. I'll be interested to see any other comments or your own thoughts.
Thanks for the read AJ.

[Volaticus]

Hi Volaticus,
I love the title with the first two lines, i feel that this has a form of spirituality about it. But I have to confess that the last line has me a bit confused. I cannot make the "through air waves" work in a visual way with the ocean. I think my main problem is actually with the oceans divide...I think of different / seperate oceans as merging. It could just be me being on the wrong wavelength here. I'll be interested to see any other comments or your own thoughts.
Thanks for the read AJ.

Hi AJ,
Thanks a lot for your thoughtful feedback, I appreciate it.
I can clearly see, now that you mention it, that it can be confusing. I will try to explain what I wanted to convey. Two people (soulmates); connected with each other spiritually. Through air waves indicate that there's no direct contact, but instead contact by phone, online or something like that. Oceans divide, is kind of the explanation of why the two people have to connect through air waves only, because the people are divided by oceans. I hope that clears up the confusion a little.
Best,
LB

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Hi Volaticus..this feels complex for a haiku. Fifty-cent words like "synergize", and the idea of oceans dividing, make it too busy. Focus and accessibility are best for a haiku.

You seem to have a very pure idea here, and I like that. But it is hidden beneath too many details.

Hi fogglethorpe,
Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it a lot.
The poem is not a haiku, it's simply just a short poem. I don't know if that changes anything, though? Just thought I'd mention it.
But thanks a lot for the advise on haiku
Best,
LB