unusual syntax

[serge gurkski]

what am I doing here?

Tomcat's sayin

on soft paws
I trot upon your heart
is mine.

[Vistaldust]

Con joining two separate thoughts in the same sentence? I'm sure it has a name. But I don't know what it is!

[serge gurkski]

I ll find it. It has a difficult Greek name.

you are right: it is about conjoining two seperate phrases or sentences.

Stay tuned.

[rayheinrich]

I don't know what the general term is either (so I'll be waiting
for you to find it as well), but in haiku they call it a 'pivot line'
as it marks the transition (like 'pivot points' and 'pivot words')
from the 1st part of the haiku to the 2nd.

Some ones I've copied from the web:


rain hammers down
on the unfinished building
cranes perch

drizzling rain
running over the koto
a rat!

peach juice
down my fingers
ants swarm

evening moon
above the koto
plum blossoms fall



Plus a sappy love poem (I wrote it long ago, so I can be forgiven)
where I tried to do the same thing:

< stolen hearts >

she stole
my heart
belongs to
her
red hair
wind-swept
this beach
we lie
upon
each
other
thoughts
of her
dark eyes
see
only me
she loves
our dance
so close
to me
she says
i stole
her heart
belongs to
me

- - -

[Brownlie]

Great thread

[milo]

yah, maybe move it to the discussion forum and out of my damn practice forum?

[Leanne]

Your practice forum, is it?

Whatever, that's a good call.

[milo]

Your practice forum, is it?

Whatever, that's a good call.

once a troll sets up under a bridge it becomes a troll bridge.

[Brownlie]

Stuck on the train so I wrote this it can be called practice

Concrete and dripping paint that's dried
Graffiti acts as salient stains amidst cement blurred grey by speed
The train emits a blaring horn and rumbles over tracks
The strangers sit and noise becomes cacauphony