titles are over rated

[Bunx]

XXX,
You mark the title of my day,
the girl, a want in site. though
far from my prey. she is leaving
in one years time. i would say shes
mine, but i got the spine
to let her fly. XXX i can't wait to
swim in the blue water. Water that
is being prepped before inhaled.
Sometimes i think XXX how good it
would be it fall in love with you before
you join the corporation of peace. But
hopefully this modest meek will not be
deceased before see has the chance to say.

Sincerely yours,
Robert Cave

[billy]

hi bunx.

is xxx a substitute for a name? should it be [sight] on the 2nd line?
it feels quite hard to follow and i'm struggling to take something from the poem.
the 1st line of the poem works okay though i'm not sure how
wish i could be more constructive

[R.C. KITCHENS]

XXX,
You mark the title of my day,
the girl, a want in site. though
far from my prey. she is leaving
in one years time. i would say shes
mine, but i got the spine
to let her fly. XXX i can't wait to
swim in the blue water. Water that
is being prepped before inhaled.
Sometimes i think XXX how good it
would be it fall in love with you before
you join the corporation of peace. But
hopefully this modest meek will not be
deceased before see has the chance to say.

Sincerely yours,
Robert Cave

I was thinking "sight" in the second line too. I dont know what the xxx means. Does it mean a spacing to fill in the blank with a name? I think you mean "to" instead of "it" in the
Sometimes i think XXX how good it
would be it fall in love with you before
The last two lines I really didnt get that well. Some work in a few key places could make this a good read, I'd like the name inputed if that is what the "xxx" is referring to.

[MissKiss]

Water that
is being prepped before inhaled.

i'm not sure that i understand that reference.

hopefully this modest meek will not be
deceased before see has the chance to say.

before he?
honestly, i'm not loving the line placement. but everyone has their own style. this has a lot of potential it just needs a little tightening up. i kind of thought the XXX was some sort of expletive lol but a name would make sense too.

[Bunx]

replace xxx with becca
XXX,
You mark the title of my day,
the girl, a want in cite. though
far from my prey. she is leaving
in one years time. i would say shes
mine, but i got the spine
to let her fly. XXX, i can't wait to
swim in the blue water. Water that
is being prepped before inhaled.
Sometimes i think XXX, how good could
should would be if i fall in love with you before
you join the corporation of peace. But
hopefully this modest meek will not be
deceased before see has the chance to say.

Sincerely yours,
Robert Cave

---

x- kiss