Between Night and Day

[autumnleaves]

the crickets chirp
while the birds awake
and begin their songs,
the one unaware of the other
the train whistle blows,
the birds oblivious
of the persistent darkness
the crickets unknowing
of the impending light,
like smoke gently rising
from soft-glowing, ancient embers
my mind returns to you

[thislimeismine]

"the one unaware of the other"
I think each would sound better here, because one sounds as if you are referring to only... one of them.

What is so significant about the animal's unawareness/obliviousness/unknowingness? It's repeated a lot. Because the speaker understands the sunrise and the world around him, but they do not?

[R.C. KITCHENS]

"the one unaware of the other" is vague. "my mind returns to you" is vague too. I like the madness of night and day, just a bit puzzled.

[heisenborg]

I like it. What I take from the end is that your mind is also elsewhere. The crickets, the birds and the train, although noticed by you, are just as unimportant to your psyche as you are to theirs. Am I on to something here?

[YaMarVa]

the crickets chirp
while the birds awake
and begin their songs,
the one unaware of the other
the train whistle blows,
the birds oblivious
of the persistent darkness
the crickets unknowing
of the impending light,
like smoke gently rising
from soft-glowing, ancient embers
my mind returns to you

Overall, good poem as I have no critiques on your grammar or method beyond thinking you need some capitalization. You have some good imagery.
"like smoke gently rising
from soft-glowing, ancient embers
my mind returns to you" - good line!

But I cannot connect to the content as I would think birds and crickets (nature) are much more aware of the coming morning and the cycle of the natural day, as it is we humans whom are further oblivious as we need clocks and calendars to gauge our days.
"the birds oblivious
of the persistent darkness
the crickets unknowing
of the impending light"
Maybe these crickets and bird are, as you the writer created them as you please, but I am hesitant (as a naturalist, and apparently a realist) that in nature they are.
I would consider another metaphor more fitting to an awakening.

[NikkiRHCOG]

the crickets chirp
while the birds awake
and begin their songs,
the one unaware of the other
the train whistle blows,
the birds oblivious
of the persistent darkness
the crickets unknowing
of the impending light,
like smoke gently rising
from soft-glowing, ancient embers
my mind returns to you

Whenever I read a poem ready to give feedback, someone I might add I haven't done in a while; I always read through a couple of times to get a feel for the work, and then on a third pass I start making notes on what I might work on if it were my poem.

That being said, everything I made a note about has been commented on already.

I did trip over the words on line 4 and agree using the word 'each' will help maintain the natural rhythm of the poem.

A little capitalization wouldn't hurt the poem, and there are a couple of places I would want to put a full stop.

I can agree on the comment about nature being aware of the impending light, and to follow through I think the birds would be aware of each others song, after all this is a means of communication for them.

None of this is to say your poem isn't without merit. I particularly like the seemingly understated meaning, only to have a nice metaphor worked in and revealed at the end.

The last line of the poem is my favourite because it ties so nicely together.

Great job!

[c.gutzwiller]

I like the idea of each sound being unaware of the others. It seems to project your loneliness onto your surroundings and emphasizes to me how oblivious of the sounds you become again at the end with "my mind returns to you"

[MissKiss]

i liked this poem a lot. it reminds me of being awake in bed early in the morning, mind wandering. i liked the day/night cricket/bird image of being intertwined but separated. nice work.