hi tiana, i liked it for the fact a poet is starting a journey. craft-wise it's lacking in most area. you're telling a story as you would in prose, the only difference is the line lengths. cut most of it away and what's you have left will be the basis for your poem. remove anything that's already been said in a different way somewhere else in the poem. pare away the statements like the ones in the last 4 lines
I am seeing "undefined" as the poem. Is that just me?
(05-31-2013, 02:10 PM)Todd Wrote: [ -> ]I am seeing "undefined" as the poem. Is that just me?
I only see undefined as well it seems as if there is some philisophical point being made.
This may be one of the best examples of brevity in verse I have read in a long while!!!
i think my feedback was the reason the poem was pulled.
