Cheewii's Shadow
Unregistered
I want to do so much,
but I can only do so much.
Side note of the amateur:
This is my first time here, and I just suddenly thought up this short two lines, so I'm curious to know what other people think about it, whether it even counts as a poem?
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It could count as a poem. To be this short it probably needs a more interesting revelation, or it needs some imagery that makes the point better.
Just my thoughts.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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I remember studying a poem a while ago, called Assynt Mountains. Perhaps it would give you some inspiration for some great imagery while keeping it short and sweet:
the row of crones
rugs on knees
watch the coalfire dawn
Canisp, nearest the blaze, grins
the sun rises
between blackened stumps
in ancient Lewisian gums
23 words but still gets a lot across, in my opinion. Otherwise, I like the lines you've got :-)
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
