My Gran cried the day he died.

[cidermaid]

No idea where this came from, had planned to sit down to have a go at Milo's new practice thread..and this came out instead

Quick edit on S3 L2 - my thanks to heslopian

My Gran cried the day he died.

Did the King feel the love?
As he parked his royal arse,
dimpled like burger buns,
smattered with the seeds
of his history; scattered throughout his veins.

Chocky-topping and mallow lumps, floating
like mini burgs, unseen
just beneath the thin surface tension of his skin,
but sharp enough to cut him.

The king – seeded and swollen,
a song-filled bud of bursting energy.
Adored by a rising flood of screaming
pre-pubescent love, railing against the passive
calm, and hyped up by the overflowing effervescing
slag heap of daily living, they flocked
to hear him sing his lonesome songs.

Taken out by a seedy turd.
Well travelled, squeezed and purged
through a needled camel’s eye,
until his tallowed heart flickered
upon his marbled throne. The pressure
of his lonely passage vented
in one, last, orchestrated movement
that brought a tear to the nation’s eye.
My Gran cried the day he died.

[Magpie]

Excellent, when I first saw the title on the main page I thought to myself, that sounds a bit sad I don't think I'll read it just now, but then I saw it was in poetry for fun and now I'm laughing. "Taken out by a seedy turd." brilliant line.
Thanks for that.
AR

[Keith]

Very good, I think you could have chosen your explanation a little more carefully "and this came out instead" Lol unintentional I'm sure ;-) anyway thought this was very funny and quirky and really liked the last Stanza, also just a point but the second stanza seemed out of place and could be removed and converted into short poem on its own as I think you have something in the hot chocolate with marsh mellow icebergs not sure what but I love the focus that this line brings best...TOMH

[cidermaid]

Hello to both AR & TOMH and thanks for the comments.

Would love to claim planned humour for the explanation comments...but now that you've pointed them out, I think I will anyway, this is a fitting start to the poem.

Did wonder where to post it initially as had not intended to write in a humorous or disrespectful way, I don't really get the whole adoring fan thing and my Gran (well Nan actually) bursting into tears had mystified me. Bizarrely I did not mean this to be a humour poem as such (but don't mind that it is taken this way...it is silly), but at the same time I did think he seamed a very sad and lonely person and generally feel sad for many of the big celebs...I think it must be very hard for them to have real friends or loves, when everyone has a hand in their pockets or wants a piece of them.
Thanks for stopping by to read this. AJ.

[Catcherin]

This is really funny but also quite sad. Made me think about the tragedy of celebrity and the public's insatiable desire that is often their ruination, as well as society's need for distraction/vicarious living due to their own crappy lives. The stanzas 3 and 4 are gold haha

[heslopian]

No idea where this came from, had planned to sit down to have a go at Milo's new practice thread..and this came out instead

My Gran cried the day he died.

Did the King feel the love?
As he parked his royal arse,
dimpled like burger buns,
smattered with the seeds
of his history; scattered throughout his veins. A really disgusting but poetic and evocative verse L3 - 4 are brilliant.

Chocky-topping and mallow lumps, floating
like mini burgs, unseen
just beneath the thin surface tension of his skin, Good line. Rhythmic and straightforward; no fuss, no muss.
but sharp enough to cut him.

The king – seeded and swollen,
a song filled bud of bursting energy. "Song" and "filled" should have a dash between them, I think. Otherwise, great line. Really strong imagery, even if it is abstract.
Adored by a rising flood of screaming
pre-pubescent love, railing against the passive
calm, and hyped up by the overflowing effervescing
slag heap of daily living, they flocked
to hear him sing his lonesome songs. So... who is the king exactly? Is "king" a literal or symbolic title? He sounds a bit like a shanachie (professional storyteller).

Taken out by a seedy turd.
Well travelled, squeezed and purged
through a needled camel’s eye, Again, disgusting but poetic.
until his tallowed heart flickered
upon his marbled throne. From "until" to "throne" = excellent. The pressure
of his lonely passage vented
in one, last, orchestrated movement
that brought a tear to the nation’s eye.
My Gran cried the day he died.

I really liked this poem because it did something not many do: mixed the vulgar with the transcendant. Some of it was gross and gooey, all of it was soft and flowing, a bit like a liquid poo Thank you very much for the read, cidermaid

[cidermaid]

My thanks to Helopian and Catcherin for the kind comments.
@ Heslopian. I was mostly thinking of my Nan and then Elvis and his death poped into my head for some odd reason.
AJ

[heslopian]

Of course! Why I didn't think of Elvis before I'll never know, as all the clues are there, and blatant at that. Maybe it would be clearer if you capitalised "king" in L1 of S3?