Dawn Psalm
#5
Very much improved your narrative.  I am still in a little puzzled by the action of last two lines, but that’s my problem.  Lots of lingering mysteries in the poem but that’s not a bad thing.

This poem reminds me of the song in Orff’s Carmina Burana called The Roasted Swan.

Thanks for sharing revision.
“All persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.”  Kurt Vonnegut
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Messages In This Thread
Dawn Psalm - by RiverNotch - 06-10-2021, 03:29 PM
RE: Dawn Psalm - by Knot - 06-10-2021, 08:51 PM
RE: Dawn Psalm - by TranquillityBase - 06-11-2021, 01:54 PM
RE: Dawn Psalm - by RiverNotch - 06-12-2021, 07:24 PM
RE: Dawn Psalm - by TranquillityBase - 06-12-2021, 10:05 PM



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