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[billy]

i missed this one Aish, sorry, i'll just give feedback on the edit.

My
chest
ached
a little,
full
of
insomnia
and half spilled
ire -

now it[b] is now needed?
divides
itself
over
and
over
tumbling

a surging
hydrographic
soliciting to drown line feels too long compared to the minimalism of the other, why not split it?
a capsized
lover.

while i see a maritime metaphor at play, i'm not sure hydrograhic works.

Seething
murmurs
fall
crash
break
dragging the depths
you use grammar at the beginning why not elsewhere?

below
my stomach
behind
my colon
reaching
beyond
i like this stanza, it's a good image.

the
spinning
fiery
wheels

of
sacred this doesn't work for me, i'm not anything is needed on thins line
undertow.[/b]

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i really don't care for these type of minimal poems but that's my affliction. i think you did a good job with this one. the grammar spoils it a little, the 1st stanza has it then it vanishes. choose yay or nay, the maybe makes me do a double-take. i pointed out the 'hydrographic' because the poem's about the heart and gut. that word is too scientific

i think you need to split at least one of the lines (see line by)
and make it as minimal as possible.

thanks for the read