Just Another Haze

[tectak]

@billy

Of course :3

Chasing the dragon can refer to either inhaling or the state addicts get to when they are chasing the ultimate high of heroin. In this instance it could really refer to either.

"The metaphorical meaning of the term alludes to the feeling that the next ingested dosage of the drug will result in a nirvana that seems and feels imminent and conclusive, yet upon consumption never quite yields the promised experience—leading to the desire for the next dose that still promises the same—thus chasing the dragon but never catching it (like "chasing after the wind [a wild wind]", a biblical term). Medically speaking, this sensation is a common aspect of drug addiction in which psychological and physical drug tolerance causes a diminishing return curve in the user's enjoyment of the drug. Here, the "dragon" represents the user's best euphoric experiences with the drug (usually due to novelty and inexperience), but with the positive effects diminishing (and often being replaced with negative effects) over time with each consecutive experience, causing the user to fruitlessly "chase" harder and use more of the drug to try to recapture the initial euphoria."

@tectak

I appreciate your input although I disagree with some of what you are saying. Especially about it being cliche (mind you, I don't mind a cliche as long as it isn't tackily done) because a cliche is something overused to the point where it loses its meaning, and I honestly haven't read that many heroin poems. I'm not saying they don't exist, but I don't think they are overused either.On the other hand, it's just another haze

I will explain a couple of the things you didn't understand, though c: -

Submit and untold are both correctly used.

sub·mit
   [suhb-mit] Show IPA verb, sub·mit·ted, sub·mit·ting.
verb (used with object)
1.
to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).
2.
to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.Exactly.....to submit to....if you do not say what you submit to,as you patently did not, then the meaning defaults to (3), which is the wrong meaning. The meaning of words is contextually sensitive.
3.
to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.
4.
to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually followed by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.

The addicts are submitting to the influence and addiction of the drug.

"dust lies upon our time untold"

Dust lying is meant to imply the staticity of the situation, of how unmoving it is, so that they gather dust like old furniture. Their time is "untold" as in both unrevealed and also inexpressiable - wasting away in the shadows so that nobody really knows.
I can conceed this one but would argue that the use of "untold" as a specific adjective to "time" pre-empts any further discussion in the piece. Untold it must remain. This is a small point, I admit, but it glares out as a forced rhyme.
"we wallow in our forsaken rapture"

To wallow is to live self-indulgently (or to roll around in, like a pig wallows in mud!) and to be "forsaken" means past the point of being able to forsake it... Essentially, they cannot give up their "rapture" - You certainly can live self-indulgently in happiness which you have passed the point of being able to give up!wallow is familiar to me!

"Wilt thou forgive that sin which I have won
Others to sin, and made my sin their door?
Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun
A year or two, but wallow'd in, a score?
When thou hast done, thou hast not done,
For I have more.
John Donne"


But your definition of forsaken is a nonsense.You cannot define a meaning of a word by including the word in the meaning! "Forsaken" by any definition means to have BEEN left or given up on.......not wallowable inBTW ,and a propos, the Oxford Dictionary is not keen on "staticity" but would permit it to be used as a term relating to a degree of "static" (electricity). In the sense you used it I understood what you meant.....but there are no degrees of "static" when referring to "movement".....so no "staticity". Used as you did is a little like saying something is "zeroish". Again, the wrong word. God, my degree of pedantricity is nothing less than infinite. Hmmmm.


"for this secret delight, pay dire price,"

why is it secret, why is it a delight (crawling,broken? Where's the delight?Dire is wrong word

The delight is secret because heroin is illegal and if they don't keep it secret they could be arrested/forced into rehab/etc. and that is your definition of a delight?and it is a delight because heroin is very powerful in the euphoria it gives you.yes to this, so separate the two states. You cannot encompass the two diametrically opposites under one umbrella. The piece deserves the clarification of the divided viewpoint. My closest expectation to it comes from my own usage of opiates but I've never done anything that strong. However, most heroin addicts are still aware of how filthy and depraved it still is. And dire isn't the wrong word, dire can be another word for dreadful... And it is a dreadful price!Again, I feel
little misunderstood myself......when I said that dire was the wrong word I did not mean that it was incorrect in definition.......I meant it was the wrong word to choose...choose another.
In all of this banter, I would not have you believe for one moment that this was a poem falling short of either expectations or your own standards. The continuously and continual addage. Listen to the critics and take the best from them. Do as you will with the rest. All is opinion.
Best,
Tectak

@penguin

Thanks for the input, I will take what you have said into consideration, especially the double usage of broken (I know what you mean, I don't like seeing the sames words repeated in a poem) -

Although to comment on the last bit, it would depend on how you see wrongdoing. What the voice means is they have never hurt anyone, they've never lied or stolen or cheated, they just live in a world of self-destruction.