06-22-2012, 01:00 PM
I'm sorry but calling a poem a mess is actually a personal opinion and in no way objective. I'm not asking for people to be supportive of my poem, I do ask them to refrain from being childish.
Hi
I think that you're critiques verged a little on the form of a personal attack and were a little uncalled for. I did call for a critique but your sloppy commentary was lazy, childish and not helpful in any way. I truly hope that you stop posting in this poem until you learn to clean your act up.
Welcome to The Pig, ksinll!
You have included some nice imagery and turns of phrase in this piece. However, it is kind of a humbled mess. You have lengthy statements with lots of adjectives and modifiers. I suggest identifying two or there points you wish to emphasize, and pare the fat off to expose the physique you built it around.
I'm looking forward to reading more from you.
Aish
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(06-22-2012, 08:36 AM)tectak Wrote:(06-22-2012, 06:13 AM)Todd Wrote: From the forum description:That went well, I thought.
No action will be taken by moderators to censure comments if it is deemed they are valid critique, however negative it may appear to the original poster. This is Serious Critique and not all feedback will be supportive of your poem.
It isn't name calling it's how one reader perceived your work. I hope you do stay around, but that's up to you.
Best,
Todd
Tectak
Hi
I think that you're critiques verged a little on the form of a personal attack and were a little uncalled for. I did call for a critique but your sloppy commentary was lazy, childish and not helpful in any way. I truly hope that you stop posting in this poem until you learn to clean your act up.
Welcome to The Pig, ksinll!
You have included some nice imagery and turns of phrase in this piece. However, it is kind of a humbled mess. You have lengthy statements with lots of adjectives and modifiers. I suggest identifying two or there points you wish to emphasize, and pare the fat off to expose the physique you built it around.
I'm looking forward to reading more from you.
Aish
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