Llego Con Tres Heridas( I come with three wounds)

[addy]

It does sound cool . But I quite like the english version of the title and feel there's no real reason to gild it.

I love this piece. I unfortunately have very little to comment.

When I die, three wounds I bring.

I knew this when the days became the gaps in bedded nights.
Sweet dreaming into longer dawns became my comfort quilt,
to turn back when the stabbing light pierced bloodless in to shaded sight;
I by the wound sustained was lost. The first cut is called guilt. Nice build-up and lead-in. Not sure about "comfort quilt" thing, it's the only part that for me wasn't enticingly descriptive enough. Just imo

I knew this when the love I had, I lost to other’s schemes;
tight squeezed beneath entombing stone I breathed against the weight
of leaden tears, of pressured thoughts, of dense and airless dreams;
I by the wound sustained was crushed. The second cut is hate. Strongest stanza for me. Nice, palpable descriptions

I knew this when I lost my mind and fell through thoughtless years;
No piton fixing me to rock, no cleft to take hold of,
I hurtled down the whistling void, colliding with my fears;
and by the wound sustained was freed. The last cut is called love. I like your turns of phrase here, but I didn't really get the concept of "love" out of it, as such. I'd have expected this stanza to up the ante a little. Of course, that's just a minor nit


Tectak
1971

Thanks very much for the read