I really liked this one Indie. You've got lots of good lines. For some reason i really liked "And I began to grow into myself, Much to the horror of us...".
One thing I could suggest is to try and keep your images somehow consistent; you know, keep it somehow within the same thematic constellation.
Most of your images talk about gardens, of vegetation that is overripe, overgrown, rotting... like the relationship. I like that. but then there are some lines that talk about being underwater, or of fire and ice, so you're implying something about melting and the abundance of water being a metaphor for drowning in emotions. i'm left struggling about which point you were actually trying to make, and which metaphor you were ultimately going for. i like both, but maybe they belong in different poems.
Thanks very much for the read Indie
One thing I could suggest is to try and keep your images somehow consistent; you know, keep it somehow within the same thematic constellation.
Most of your images talk about gardens, of vegetation that is overripe, overgrown, rotting... like the relationship. I like that. but then there are some lines that talk about being underwater, or of fire and ice, so you're implying something about melting and the abundance of water being a metaphor for drowning in emotions. i'm left struggling about which point you were actually trying to make, and which metaphor you were ultimately going for. i like both, but maybe they belong in different poems.Thanks very much for the read Indie
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?