Hourglass

[tectak]

V. 3 switched to present tense. removed opening line, adjusted stanza structure, adjusted the "bark" simile, adjusted the "measuring" stanza. thanks to tec, billy, and dale


hourglass

I find a plate of tangerine
slices, frosted in the back of the fridge.
The peeled curls return my thoughts to you,
wilted in a slender gown in a sterile room,

age stripping color from hair
as though bronze were bark.

Separated for a night, we still count
what neither of us can measure;
not in front of a counter strewn with flour,
not in the grasp of a detached machine.

A tally of hours may grow to days or crumble into sand
during a shift of sleep in a familiar bed

or as I eat the fruit set to spoil.
Cold, one slice is lifted away, then another,
until the dish loses its citric patients,
its finish so clear, unstained. White.




V. 2



Back from the hospital,
I found a plate of tangerine slices
frosted in the back of the fridge.

Those peeled curls, unfastened, returned my thoughts to you,
wilted in a slender gown in a sterile room,
your age stripping color from hair like bark.

Separated for a night, we still count
what neither of us can measure, from a kitchen
or while strapped to a machine. A tally of hours

may grow to days or crumble into seconds of sand
during a shift of sleep in a familiar bed
or as I eat the fruit set to spoil. Cold,

one slice is lifted away, then another,
before the dish loses its citric patients,
its finish so clear, unstained. White.





V. 1

Back from the hospital,
I found a plate of tangerine slices,
frosted in the back of the fridge.

Those peeled curls, huddled without their shell,
returned my thoughts to you, wilted in a slender gown,
your age stripping color from hair like bark.

For now, we count what none of us can measure
from a kitchen or while strapped to a machine.
A tally of hours may grow to days

or shrivel into sand, making it hard
to take this shift of sleep in a familiar bed,
eat the food set to spoil. Cold,

one slice is lifted away, then another,
before the dish loses its citric guests,
its finish so clear, unstained. White.

Very, very good edit. How could I say otherwise. Still don't like citric, though, but that's just sour grapes!