The Immortal Soul

[tectak]

What if our souls are like the sturgeon,or as Whinnie the Pooh almost said,what if they're not. This kind of humongous hypothesis demands a great amount of documentary back up.....will we get it?
always growing, ungoverned by death?
Are the oceans of space wide enough to keep them all?
Or would they burn and suffocate against Orion's belt,
those shapeless forms of pain and sex.No, we won't, but let's just pretend and carry on regardless. The opening supposition was just so good (though a carp would have been my choice as they live in restricted environments as Koy, unlike tbe sea-going sturgeon) but left unproven.The search for melodramatic descriptive prose takes us in one leap from fish to fantasy. "Ungoverned by death" is just an inaccurate statement. I can prove that sturgeons die but I cannot say whether they are troubled by the concept. I suspect not so try unperturbed, unconcerned,even unphased at a push, but best for me
would be "unlimited"
Does the universe expand to house our stubborn faith?great thought and beautifully crafted question. Truly a philosophical germ-crystal. Cannot wait for the answer
The souls of the witcked are swallowed by sunswicked
in man's ideal kingdom.Oh. Is that all?A sun bite?
I yearn for grace of different creeds,...but who wrote this? The rest is excellent.Your muse is back from a shopping trip. This last stanza ( is not but should be) stands on its own and on its own merit. I would stick a "the" before "grace" but what do I know about graciousness?
a wood where souls like infant hares
dart in and out of snug warrens,
released from what the skin dictates.

You could really make this work. If others decide to help with the workshopping I would really be interested in the final outcome. The idea is excellent and worth expanding upon. I am not telling you how to suck eggs (yes I am, sorry) but in any extended piece with a commitment, to put forward a tennet with force you must avoid making heartfelt suppositions which then run headlong into the rest of your arguement like protons colliding. With a great deal of luck you may get fusion but it is millions to one in favour of fission..... a lot of heat and a whole heap of toxic waste.
Best,
Tectak