I miss the scent of city girls

[Todd]

Hi Tectak,

A lot in this one. Let me try to give you some comments hopefully they will be helpful in some way.

First, I love the title. Since scent is so connected to memory it lends itself well to the conceit of the poem. It's a highly creative approach. Let's move to the lines themselves:

I miss the scent of city girls: cold nights, dark streets, fast food, gas lights.--This could just be me but rather than a list it might be interesting if you could draw out what the smell of a cold night is, or a dark street, fast food sort of carries its own smell, but still what does the neon sign smell like as it hangs above the gas pumps. The idea of the essence of a city hanging on a woman like an urban perfume is a really great idea. I'd encourage you to consider establishing it more in this line. Just a thought
I like the girl who wraps herself in a thick-cloth coat and a woolly hat,
that hints of coffee and polluted air and if you  kiss and draw her in--love these lines. They could almost substitute for your first line (keeping your city smells introductory phrase). I like the mention of drawing her in (you picture both an embrace and an act of deeply inhaling)
her whole day lingers on her breath; milky latte, quickly taken,
emotive  as  a moist, warm breast exposed to chill night wind.--This is why I enjoy other people's styles. I wouldn't normally ever consider line lengths like this I'd be doing a break after exposed but I really would not recommend that to you. There's something about the longer lines that gives the sense of a gourmet sitting at a table savoring a meal--there's a lavishness to it. These lines are also excellent. The simily of the breast, the whole day lingering on her breath...really good. No nits from me.

I miss the risk of misconstruance; that slipping, cautious, certain sign--I've never heard misconstruance used as a word--never that tense. It could be my lack of familiarity with the word but it did pull me out of the line. I'd be tempted to simplify with "I miss the risk; that slipping..."
from  one shared  cigarette. You light two and she takes one….
but she  does not inhale.Open mouthed then lips tight pressed,--reads smoothly though I don't think you need the second "she". "tight pressed" is inverted from what I'd expect but not awkward
white pleasure plumes and fabric permeates. Then you stop,--I like white pleasure plumes, but I don't think fabric conveys enough on its own
just for one moment; a trick you know so well.--The line is good in that you make it more personal and draw the reader in more closely

You draw her close.She lets you take  her round the waist. Her hair is in your face--extra space after take (minor typo) Again on a shorter line or with a rewrite a break after "take her" would be interesting. It may not be worth restructuring though--just an option. You may be able to come up with something better than "is in". It works but there is probably a word that will convey more for you
and you  suck deep,draw back then gently place your yearning cigarette between her lips.--minor typo space after the comma after deep. This is the first time that draw started to feel overused to me. I had to think about it for a bit but I decided I do like "yearning cigarette"
Before the smoke has gone....a kiss. And while the intimate exhalation swirls,--Could just be me but I don't like the construction of your first phrase. Maybe, reverse it: "A kiss...before the smoke has gone" Intimate seems to leading here perhaps consider cutting it
you slip  a hand, an arm, but slowly, through her outer fabric shield.--outer fabric sheild seems too clinical. It may work better if you are moving through the clothing AND different layers of smells associated with those layers. I also don't think you need the but (though that's debatable).
Soft buttons pop, warm comfort yours, and with faintly murmured word, --I love soft buttons pop...just love it. I'm not as fond of the "yours" or the "and" it feels like there's an artical missing after the with...with a perhaps
she lets you in.

I miss the scent of city girls, that whiff of  baking bread and  fruity Danish spice.--love this
The  city girl  who shares with “others”, a flat above a  bakery, and wakes at four a.m.
as up through  loose bare boards comes early  yeast-filled streams that dream her day awake.--I keep wanting the yeast-filled streams leading this line (i.e., "as yeast-filled streams come early up...) In any case, it's a nice addition to the bakery reference
She bathes in turn, in a cold, damp room where black and smoking the gas flame lives,--I think you could pull a more specific smell out of cold, damp. That said, the "where black and smoking...lives" phrasing is wonderful
which shares the  grubby, gurgling boiler with  city water; the chemical cologne of  her fresh washed hair.--love the sounds. I like these lines quite a bit. Cologne works but you might be able to tease another specific smell out of it and use that smell as a replacement.
Her tresses frizz  in the khamsin blast from the turbo-fan, stylising and  instant drying.--minor typo extra space after frizz and before turbo-fan. Okay, khamsin blast is so good that I'm happy I read the poem for it. Love that addition

Her deodorant spray ( should  last a day ) will die some time in the afternoon (and then she is mine).--playful, really nice  
She dresses from a wooden chest , lined with paper of  crumbling napthalene blooms,
then quickly paints her daytime face of eyes wide-open, lips plasticised and glossy red.--one of my favorite lines in the poem
Each morning she stops at the corner café and picks a croissant, torn open, yet too hot to hold.
Her  coffee arrives, though a little colder, still on its surface she  pursed-lip blows.--again minor typo extra space after she...I love your inverted pursed-lip. It's like the earlier inversion. Nothing awkward just interesting. It make the line pop

Her perfume, raw from lack of purpose, joins gladly with the steamy  sweetness;--You could find something less vague than sweetness. Minor typo extra space after steamy. The raw from lack of purpose is a fantastic addition.
up it goes into her complex cocktail, into her cassolette.
Then you are lost in the city with a city girl.--The ending lines tie everything back together. Cassolette is a great word. That said, you could cut it if you wanted and expand on the type of cocktail...tie a smell in, and close with your last line...The cocktail has a more urban feel to it to me 

Tectak August 2011

I'm not trying to point out every space I realize that's minor. I just wanted to draw your attention to it. That said, brilliant work. I don't think I would have ever arrived at anything like it. I love the long lines, the feel of them. My main critique would be to look at the words that are more general and try to go a little deeper with specific smells. It's a good poem as is, but that might push it higher (in my opinion).

I enjoyed the read. Thanks.

Best,

Todd