Father's Day

[tectak]

the phone call
that sent you
into the bathroom
and turned on the water
has died, leaving us
separated by echoes
of a tub and bolted door.
The same questions are asked.Why NOT start with a capital? It is almost as though you are trying to detract from meaning and distract from any other line of constructive criticism. It is your work and your choice.
So...this first stanza. Short lines are too fragmentory for the content. The connectivity is vital in imaging thoughts, far more than when describing objects. A list will suffice for the latter...a paragraph is required for the former.
I can tell immediately that you are wracked with concept. This stanza is a thought bubble of meaning for you.....but what about the reader. A phone call can certainly be instigatory. This phone call sent your character into the bathroom...and (he) turned on the water. Yes, c'est possible.....but then died. Not nonsense but nonsensical. I am very much drawn into the piece by possibilty then the rope that pulls me along is suddenly cut. What does it mean? Think man,think...no, I am just not up to the task. So I move on, unfullfilled and irritated by my lack of understanding. And on father's day, too
Here we are, from now on to the end, YIKES! I am giving up on this critic thing.....wha? Wh? I do not understand what this is saying. Apologies in advance to moderators and other interested parties. The water through the elephant has dusted my hubcaps for the last grubby ferrule. Say no more.
our plates being washed at a restaurant,
our cards fallen on the counter,
with nothing to say;

no words
to break a fastened lock
or sliver through
a round keyhole

until mother orders me
to dust grandfather's photograph
with a rag that cannot take away
the cane that waited
at his side, or how grey
his hair had become;

grey as memories
that spill from a faucet
with steam too considerate
to hide your reflection.