An interesting day when I was seventy-two

[tectak]

I'm afraid I'm going to have to break all my own rules and just say I really enjoyed this. I think the form is perfect for the narrative style, it fuses genres very well and it works as both a literal story and allegory. I ran out of sugar this morning myself, so the dilemma became more of a personal one for me!

I am particularly fond of:

"We look at each other. Knowingly. Smugly even. We don't need sugar, you see:
And we are pleased."

These lines make coffee a very political topic and I love the possibilities.

Thanks very much for posting, I greatly enjoyed the read.

Thanks Leanne. I hope you are not being over easy on me though I am sure that once erthona finds me he will redress the balance!
I have an ongoing problem with line length which stems from the Byronic belief that the spoken language should not be subhumed by the written...accordingly I write, generally, in the way I would have the reader speak. Not always the right form for the wrong reader. I will be making changes to this piece as an experimental exercise using suggestions from all critiques. It May not survive...but I will.
Best,
Tectak