01-16-2012, 01:35 PM
hey mark
thanks for the critique! i'm glad you were able to carry elements of yourself to your reading of it.
I added an image to the first stanza that I hope is appropriate and gives some meat to the stanza...
also altered the bit on the cabinets. I understand what you're saying on the "to" and "from" bit; I feel as though if I switched prepositions, I'd also have to switch the order of 'petals' and 'buds', and for this piece, I like the feel of the current order.
really appreciate your ideas and your time
thanks for the critique! i'm glad you were able to carry elements of yourself to your reading of it.
I added an image to the first stanza that I hope is appropriate and gives some meat to the stanza...
also altered the bit on the cabinets. I understand what you're saying on the "to" and "from" bit; I feel as though if I switched prepositions, I'd also have to switch the order of 'petals' and 'buds', and for this piece, I like the feel of the current order.
really appreciate your ideas and your time
Written only for you to consider.