Love Tat

[Erthona]

Thanks Billy,

"Then for kicks, at the waist, in back, for me this line feels a bit redundant, you could put then at the beginning of the next line and it would read the same
—you wonder why you had him scrawl—
“Big Mac Attack” i like the idea of this it works on a couple of levels.
…with an arrow pointing down?"

I'm not sure what you mean, could you write it like that so I can get an idea. I actually thought of putting at the end like

"—you wonder why you had him scrawl—
“Big Mac Attack”
right above your ass."


"Then for kicks, at the waist, in back" seemed clumsy, but I wanted that phrase "Then for kicks" to flesh out her mood at the time.

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Yeah, it is suppose to be self flagellation, the dialogue is suppose to be internal. It's kind of the idea of , there are bad ideas, and then there are bad ideas on drugs, and this one falls into the second category. I think usually getting three bad tattoos only happens if you're messed up. A girl might get a butterfly on the ankle, or a fairy on the shoulder, but she probably wouldn't do all of this if she wasn't wasted. So this is kind of about immediately recognizing when you really screw up, like running your brand new car up a flag pole because you were playing quarters in the bar.

Thanks for the input. I have to write out the line change order and see how it reads.

Dale