Converse

[Wildcard]

Hi Geoff,
Before I start let me say that I really like what you've done here (and I am insanely jealous :p) My take is based on my personal experiences and may be way off. I have a few memories that I've purposely forgotten and although they were poignant at the time, they've now been willfully repressed. Anyway, here goes nothing:

Converse

I hope you remember --In all honesty I didn't think this was a strong opening until I'd read the entire poem. In tangent with L11-12, though it is very powerful- almost like a slap in the face.
the first words
we gave away,

cast from our comfortable shores
with tiny sails blown by
our lips --such a suggestive image. Indicative of the passion that once was?

sent to find a home
in each other's recesses,
any empty cabinets --don't quite get 'any' in this context. It seems a little random to me. What about:

in each others recesses:
empty cabinets?
or drawers.

I hope you remember --made the hair stand up on my arm because this is the point that I really got a good feel for the piece. Still have chills
because I don't;

drawn to their sound
I set them free every night,
like buds to a petal --maybe 'from' instead of 'to'?

and like buds to a petal,
eventually, there is nothing
to let go.

The search ended without a whimper.
Every shelf was cleared. Anything
that could be moved
was moved --maybe 'gone' instead of 'moved'?

and all I could do
was put the words,
fights, silences, --nicely done. Such a simple line but imo very powerful as it places 'fights' and 'silences' on an equal plane- as they should be imo
back in their boxes
like a set of bones
without a skull.

Nice close too. Makes the memories impotence clear with the 'without a skull' line. Id I'm missing it entirely I'm sorry, PM me and I'll delete this

Thanks for sharing, Geoff.