01-07-2012, 01:21 AM
"What a strange word to use for a woman's genitals!!!"
I thought it captured the attitude, without using words that are not...well, you know! However in this instance it is used more as a trait, than an object, and if I wrote "human woman sexuality" I do not think you need to indicate possession. You can correct me if I am wrong.
The second line is intentional, so that it slows the reading. Think of, man walking down road, passed by girl going in opposite direction, he turns to follow with his eyes, but keeps walking in the same direction, probably nearly tripping himself. I am sure you have seen this maneuver by human males before. It is often times accompanied with such phrases as, "Oh wow, did you see that?" "Christ, God almighty", or the ubiquitous "wolf whistle". I could easily make it meteorically similar to the first line, or technically accentually similar as both lines 1 and 3 are four foot lines (tetrameter) of accentual verse. The second line is pentameter. So that
"little human woman tail."
becomes a drop in line of trochee tetrameter with a half foot.
The phrase "at the sight of a" starts out as almost a triplet form with "at the sight", which can be said rather quickly, but the "of a" begins to slow it down, then the forced trochee slows it further. It is similar to the idea of a caesura, except instead of a single pause for emphasis, this is like imparting it to nearly the whole line.
As I said, that is my rational for it, it may or may not work. It is something I do quite often, that is trying to manipulate the tempo of the line reading through various means. As we discussed before, it is similar to dictating the note lenght in music.
Thanks for the comments,
Dale
I thought it captured the attitude, without using words that are not...well, you know! However in this instance it is used more as a trait, than an object, and if I wrote "human woman sexuality" I do not think you need to indicate possession. You can correct me if I am wrong.
The second line is intentional, so that it slows the reading. Think of, man walking down road, passed by girl going in opposite direction, he turns to follow with his eyes, but keeps walking in the same direction, probably nearly tripping himself. I am sure you have seen this maneuver by human males before. It is often times accompanied with such phrases as, "Oh wow, did you see that?" "Christ, God almighty", or the ubiquitous "wolf whistle". I could easily make it meteorically similar to the first line, or technically accentually similar as both lines 1 and 3 are four foot lines (tetrameter) of accentual verse. The second line is pentameter. So that
"little human woman tail."
becomes a drop in line of trochee tetrameter with a half foot.
The phrase "at the sight of a" starts out as almost a triplet form with "at the sight", which can be said rather quickly, but the "of a" begins to slow it down, then the forced trochee slows it further. It is similar to the idea of a caesura, except instead of a single pause for emphasis, this is like imparting it to nearly the whole line.
As I said, that is my rational for it, it may or may not work. It is something I do quite often, that is trying to manipulate the tempo of the line reading through various means. As we discussed before, it is similar to dictating the note lenght in music.
Thanks for the comments,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.