A Greenfly (A Conachlon)

[grannyjill]

I wasn't sure which section to put this - I would be interested in comments about the form of the poem (and to see some poetry which uses it from members)

A Greenfly

A certain greenfly thinks it owns the world
curled in an unfurled leaf beneath a bush.
Cushioned by fleeting awareness spanning
single ticks. Only now. No tomorrow
Going around oblivious of its fate.
Satiated by endless greenery
“Easy-peasy living. A piece of cake”

Taken thus its musing might have been right.

Night brings another side to the story
Evil bugs called ladybirds abound, who
hoover round the comatose greenfly's nest
Questing victims who’re never coming back
Lacking prescience they die where they lie.

Edit ps - I'm getting old....and my memory is going...If I've posted this previously, please forgive me.

[billy]

I wasn't sure which section to put this - I would be interested in comments about the form of the poem (and to see some poetry which uses it from members)

A Greenfly

A certain greenfly thinks it owns the world
curled in an unfurled leaf beneath a bush.
Cushioned by fleeting awareness spanning
single ticks. Only now. No tomorrow
Going around oblivious of its fate.
Satiated by endless greenery
“Easy-peasy living. A piece of cake”

Taken thus its musing might have been right.

Night brings another side to the story
Evil bugs called ladybirds abound, who
hoover round the comatose greenfly's nest
Questing victims who’re never coming back
Lacking prescience they die where they lie.

Edit ps - I'm getting old....and my memory is going...If I've posted this previously, please forgive me.

here it was.

i'm going to try and do a few poems then i'll have a go at this and a higgledy piggy hehe.

[Leanne]

A lovely form, and nicely done. I especially like the transition from "who" to "hoover"


PS. For anyone not sure of the rules of the form, there's a conachlonn thread in the Novice Forum.

[grannyjill]

Damn - I went and checked out the Novice Forum. I was absolutely sure that I'd posted this on site before but when I checked back through my postings on my home page it didn't show up here so I thought I was simply having a senior moment. But, there it was.

I've found out why I didn't find it - it was I posted in someone else's thread, I was only checking threads which I had initiated. Mystery solved

[Leanne]

The ensuing discussion, which contains some very interesting points on the value of learning forms or studying poetry, has been moved here/ admin

Please feel free to comment further on the original post.