12-16-2011, 10:39 PM
hey, had a few more readings. I have a better hang on the marillyn lines and the snots. However, the latter, while fitting for the tone of the piece, just still strikes as a bid odd in the context of the other pieces sounds and meanings. The former I think would benefit from different wording, but certainly just be on my end. I think starting the line with "marilyn" could make it tighter
Written only for you to consider.

