modern (c word, content)
#8
hey, had a few more readings. I have a better hang on the marillyn lines and the snots. However, the latter, while fitting for the tone of the piece, just still strikes as a bid odd in the context of the other pieces sounds and meanings. The former I think would benefit from different wording, but certainly just be on my end. I think starting the line with "marilyn" could make it tighter
Written only for you to consider.
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Messages In This Thread
modern (c word, content) - by billy - 12-15-2011, 03:35 AM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by Philatone - 12-15-2011, 07:07 AM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by Aish - 12-15-2011, 12:35 PM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by billy - 12-15-2011, 07:00 PM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by Aish - 12-16-2011, 04:57 AM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by Erthona - 12-16-2011, 11:38 AM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by billy - 12-16-2011, 07:03 PM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by Philatone - 12-16-2011, 10:39 PM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by billy - 12-16-2011, 11:45 PM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by rbl - 12-17-2011, 01:26 AM
RE: modern (c word, content) - by billy - 12-23-2011, 01:45 AM



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