12-16-2011, 02:48 PM
This seems quite cynical, if not sardonic, almost to the point of nihilism, which I of course quiet enjoy. Also some nice interline and incidental rhyme. Not so wild about the lineation, but I suppose you have your reason.
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Not sure why "golden" is not capped. "Golden brown" is a pretty obscure reference. I worked drug and alcohol treatment for 20 years and I never heard that used, I've heard black tar, china white, dust, horse, H, smack, junk, Mexican mud, scag, shit. I know it is used in some song, but that is the only place I have heard it. Golden, as in the golden triangle north of Thailand is called that because of the opium, and opium is somewhat golden/yellowish in color. Heroin is synthesized from morphine, which is a derivative of opium. To me it is a stretch to say that "golden brown" is a euphemism for heroin. Mescalin or opium I could see but heroin?
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I don't know if God is going to do something like a terrier, shouldn't it be something like "God barks amusingly like..." or any of those dog sounds. Kind of a difficult metaphor to pull off if you ask me. Dogs just don't have the cynical or meanness that seems to be required here. More like God cackles in amusement like Nero as the Christian is torn to pieces by the lion. Of course that may not be the impression you are going for, it's just how it seemed to me. I get the idea of like "Yeah, got her!" Ha!
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Maybe it's because Winehouse died recently, but this reminds me of Billy Holiday. I guess the answer, at least within the context (not necessarily mine) is the parable of the lost lamb and the good Shepard. Not many how many stars there are, all are unique and precious.
" Little Lamb, who made thee
Does thou know who made thee
Gave thee life & bid thee feed.
By the stream & o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing woolly bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice.
Making all the vales rejoice:"
excerpt William Blake "The Lamb"
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Maybe I am being dense, but I would mind a little more clarity here.
Overall a nice Anti-Christmas poem, or poem about the hypocrisy of religion, or man's inhumanity to man?
You'll have to tell me.
Dale
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Not sure why "golden" is not capped. "Golden brown" is a pretty obscure reference. I worked drug and alcohol treatment for 20 years and I never heard that used, I've heard black tar, china white, dust, horse, H, smack, junk, Mexican mud, scag, shit. I know it is used in some song, but that is the only place I have heard it. Golden, as in the golden triangle north of Thailand is called that because of the opium, and opium is somewhat golden/yellowish in color. Heroin is synthesized from morphine, which is a derivative of opium. To me it is a stretch to say that "golden brown" is a euphemism for heroin. Mescalin or opium I could see but heroin?
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I don't know if God is going to do something like a terrier, shouldn't it be something like "God barks amusingly like..." or any of those dog sounds. Kind of a difficult metaphor to pull off if you ask me. Dogs just don't have the cynical or meanness that seems to be required here. More like God cackles in amusement like Nero as the Christian is torn to pieces by the lion. Of course that may not be the impression you are going for, it's just how it seemed to me. I get the idea of like "Yeah, got her!" Ha!
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Maybe it's because Winehouse died recently, but this reminds me of Billy Holiday. I guess the answer, at least within the context (not necessarily mine) is the parable of the lost lamb and the good Shepard. Not many how many stars there are, all are unique and precious.
" Little Lamb, who made thee
Does thou know who made thee
Gave thee life & bid thee feed.
By the stream & o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing woolly bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice.
Making all the vales rejoice:"
excerpt William Blake "The Lamb"
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Maybe I am being dense, but I would mind a little more clarity here.
Overall a nice Anti-Christmas poem, or poem about the hypocrisy of religion, or man's inhumanity to man?
You'll have to tell me.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.