11-03-2011, 03:04 PM
dirty bastard I don't think I'd change much with this, billy. It is clearly a fun piece and as its stands the comedic timing is pretty much spot-on (and the line "warbling water sang my cock" by rights shouldn't sound as melodic as it does LOL). I'd at least suggest a change in the title (of course, it's not that important either...); instead of the last line, how about having the title be "In Wales", or, if you enjoy the pun, "Pissed in Wales"? Of course you're the real comedy master so your instinct on it is better than mine. Thanks for the read billy
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?