The Back of the Cave

[Philatone]

Life is beginning again.
Stasis' womb has opened, briefly,
pushing me through its entrance several inches,
to greet blinding lamps which shine on honesty.

My heart is a cave, empty yet secret.
But day is creeping through the mouth,
towards this furthermost darkness.
Slowly like a shy infant. I begin to hope.

So I was looking at this line again, trying to simply replace "heart" with "love". Now, does it work? Yes...The problem you will run into, though, is you'll get a stale start to a line that could be strong (not the most powerful line in the poem, but not weak either). Think about how many lines you would expect to see in poetry starting with "My love is a..."

Your options could be to abandon it, use it and move on, or adjust the line. You could have it so that "my love" is moved to the end or middle of the line instead. Something even along the lines of "The caves of my love" would be a a slight improvement I think. A better option, I think, is to abandon "heart" and "love", which are abstract terms, and think of an actual, concrete image. It won't be easy. If you can't think of one here, that is fine. Overall, the poem has a lot of abstract things going on, with this "life", "stasis's womb", "entrance", and "honesty", among others--grounding one of these other things in something concrete might make this element of the poem less noticeable.

Just my opinion of course, I'm sure others may disagree. I am biased towards concreteness, perhaps moreso than many. I do hope this helps though.