Pearl:

[billy]

I saw the prancing horses die at waters edge.
With manes that tossed , they made me cry at water's edge.
And left my crystal tears, a sob to soak the sand I know ghazals are formulaic and lyrical language is a characteristic, but' crystal tears' perhaps a little too pedestrian-
To flood the ocean by and by, at water's edge.

The wind; I loved the salty spray it lifted high.
I closed my eyes, became the sky at water's edge. Love this line- the surrender of self, almost, expressed therein.

When sulky clouds, through bellows, blow among the waves. Like this -Can see that cherub face of the winds they draw on old maps, blowing clouds like speech balloons
The tremor from the sea, a sigh at water's edge.

Arizona! Rest at peace below the thoughts of men.
Of battleships beneath, that fly the water's edge.

Hi Billy
I have forgotten the very little I knew about the form, so forgive if the suggestions don't work with the ghazal. The opening with the horses (metaphorical , symbolic as the white horses of the sea foam, whatever) in the foreground and the battleships at the end in the background, with the sea imagery in the middle painted a visual whole, like a picture on the wall as well as bringing to mind the despair of war. Probably got it all wrong, but hey ho.

thanks for the feedback, it seems crystal tears is a constant from you all. i'll do a few responses to other poems and come back to change it. and it's about a past war, the arizona was sunk at pearl harbour. so pretty much spot on