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Hunger and Stasis
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10-03-2011, 05:10 AM
Your welcome. My advice is that line could be struck entirely. The idea of progression is already in place, so you don't have to take the reader there so literally.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Hunger and Stasis - by heslopian - 10-03-2011, 04:12 AM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by Aish - 10-03-2011, 04:52 AM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by heslopian - 10-03-2011, 05:04 AM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by Aish - 10-03-2011, 05:10 AM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by heslopian - 10-03-2011, 05:18 AM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by Aish - 10-03-2011, 05:31 AM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by billy - 10-03-2011, 04:19 PM
RE: Hunger and Stasis - by heslopian - 10-03-2011, 05:01 PM
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