09-28-2011, 08:14 PM
i'm not the meter king so please be gentle with me,
it reads and looks like a sonnet bar the end rhymes (excepting the couplet) in places, the university line, the masturbate line, along with a couple more. am i right in thinking you weren't aining for meter perfection (a twat of a question to ask i know, i do apologise profusely for doing so
)
it feels like a parody of what a sonnet is meant to be or expected to be. or maybe poetry in general; by those with high esteem. i love what you had going on inside the structure of the poem. and there are too many lines to pick just one as most of them touched a nerve.
thanks for laugh
[/quote]
Billy,
I never really go for perfectly Iambic, Trochaic, etc., in my non-serious stuff. Even so, I intended to go for a quasi-sonnet form. I had originally attempted to set the rhyme scheme as Shakespearean but my Muse would have none of it so I took it in another direction. This was originally a Rotten toss-away anyway, as I like to call them (In reality, I toss nothing!), and in the end, for me at least, it is all conducive to learning so I take my liberties.
I think you are right about the comma. If Word didn't have an auto-editing feature (which does not catch everything), I would be lost at times as far as punctuation decisions.
Thank you for taking the time.
Sid
it reads and looks like a sonnet bar the end rhymes (excepting the couplet) in places, the university line, the masturbate line, along with a couple more. am i right in thinking you weren't aining for meter perfection (a twat of a question to ask i know, i do apologise profusely for doing so
)it feels like a parody of what a sonnet is meant to be or expected to be. or maybe poetry in general; by those with high esteem. i love what you had going on inside the structure of the poem. and there are too many lines to pick just one as most of them touched a nerve.
thanks for laugh
[/quote]
Billy,
I never really go for perfectly Iambic, Trochaic, etc., in my non-serious stuff. Even so, I intended to go for a quasi-sonnet form. I had originally attempted to set the rhyme scheme as Shakespearean but my Muse would have none of it so I took it in another direction. This was originally a Rotten toss-away anyway, as I like to call them (In reality, I toss nothing!), and in the end, for me at least, it is all conducive to learning so I take my liberties.
I think you are right about the comma. If Word didn't have an auto-editing feature (which does not catch everything), I would be lost at times as far as punctuation decisions.
Quote:the mods here tell each other offYeah...this is like the Rodney Dangerfield of poetry sites: "No Respect!"
i like you poetry sid, and the non bending knee you have
Thank you for taking the time.
Sid